The Year's Best.

Forget that Ebert fellow.

Forget that silly "Top 20" on your iTunes homepage. I mean, are you really going to trust a list that rotates Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift as the best songs week after week? Come on.

And Oprah's Book Club? That was so last year. [Oprah I didn't mean it, it was nearly a persuasive tactic, I still love you].

In fact, in honor of you, let us take a look at my favorite ThiiiIIIIIIngs of these last 365 days/12 months/8760 hours/525,600 minutes (thanks to 'Rent' I didn't even have to calculate that last one):

The Tunes.

1. 'Dog Days are Over' Florence + The Machine: I was a little late on Florence + The Machine, but when I first saw her, it was during an amazing performance on the Music Television...they were actually playing music and not bad reality television. Her striking red hair should be an indicator of what her voice is capable of, but it isn't. This woman has pipes like no other and her album is appropriately titled "Lungs." Her voice doesn't quit.

"And I never wanted anything from you. Except everything you had and what was left after that. Oh!"

2. 'Sailing to Nowhere' Broken Bells: A collaboration of a local Portland favorite of mine, 'The Shins' and Danger Mouse of 'Gnarls Barkley' fame, I heard this band for the first time toward the end of the year and was pleasantly surprised to see them in concert a few weeks later with a friend of mine with an extra ticket :). They delivered. I love it when you can go to a show and feel the music not just in bass, but in the performance of the musicians. I feel my entire system alter to keep time with this song. I wish it was as lengthy as "Hey Jude" or "American Pie" with just the beat. Oh well, listening to it on repeat works just as well.

"Running in circles, a mouse on the table, I try to feel. I just don't."

3. 'No More' Eminem Feat Lil Wayne: The beat comes from the popular "Haddaway" song made famous from the "A Night at the Roxbury" sketch on SNL. Eminem and Lil Wayne both have such unique voices that breaks up the mundanity that rap can be. It is a bit profane, but they did a clean version on SNL and it was still just as awesome.

"I'm alive again. More alive than I have been in my whole entire life."

4. 'Power' Kanye West: I don't really care for Kanye as a person due to the douchey things that he has done and the ignorant comments he continues to make, but he has a talent. And that is spittin mad lyrics (yes, I just said that). Oh well, guess you can't have it all.

"I'm livin in the 21st century doin something mean to it. Do it better than anybody you ever seen do it."

5. 'Creep' Scala & Kolacny Brothers: If you saw the first trailer for 'The Social Network' this was the song. This is a beautifully haunting cover of Radiohead's classic hit. The 'Brothers' ' outstanding arrangement with the sweet melody of the piano accenting the voices of this all girl's choir will give you chills. The good kind.

"I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul."

The People (Real & Fictitious).

1. Ty Burrell/Phil Dunphy: If you haven't started watching 'Modern Family' by now, you must hate life and not enjoy laughing. You're probably also the awkward one at work that fake laughs during the coffee cooler conversation. No but seriously, I highly advise that you tune in Wednesday nights. Ty Burrell, who happens to be a native Oregonian, plays the hilarious "cool" dad of a family of 5. You can't help but love him, laugh at him, feel sorry for him and then secretly wish your future husband acts exactly the same way.

2. Jimmy Fallon: My not-so-secret late night crush not only has the best band in late night (The Roots!) but has the best show no doubt. Jimmy captures the true elements of a variety show using his talents in song, humor and athletic competition. I mean, who else can slow jam the news with Brian Williams and challenge Betty White to Beer Pong? That's what's up.

3. Tina Fey/Liz Lemon: If I could have someone else's life, it would probably be Tina Fey's. We already have the same initials, so we're almost there. I admire Fey for her talent first as a writer and secondly, her ability to deliver such written brilliance. What a woman. She deserves all the success.

4. Jon Stewart: I just love listening to him talk. The fact that he's funny when he talks is everything one wants and needs in this life really. Before his book 'Earth,' I hadn't done the whole audiobook thing, but I feel like I had the complete experience listening to him rather than just reading his words. Simply wonderful. I hope I get back to NYC sometime soon so I can go to a taping of 'The Daily Show' again...after my trip to 30 Rock to see Jimmy Fallon and maybe run into TF in the halls. It could happen.

The Films.

1. The Social Network: The first scene of this film is intense, hilarious and awkward, which basically describes it in its entirety. The movie sets Zuckerberg up as the intelligent antagonist who we should be hating but by the end, you are so blown away with Eisenberg's performance that you in fact shamefully, kinda like Zuckerberg.

Take-Aways: Keep your friends close. Your real friends. Not the randoms on Facebook. While you're at it, delete the ones who you are uncertain of who they are and what the origins to your so-called friendship are. If you have to call your friends for confirmation in a conversation that goes something along the lines of, "Was that the guy that sat behind me in Physics?" Do not accept the friend request. We are using the term "friend" a bit loosely.

Oscar Worthy: Jesse Eisenberg, prepare your Best Actor speech. Hopefully they allow more characters than those pesky limited status updates.

2. The Black Swan: I'm still wrestling with what went on in that theater. This film was insane. Unlike other psychological thrillers (ie: Fight Club) where the different characters existence are made clear, this one is not. It leaves the viewer with the opportunity to decide what really occurred and what was only an act of cerebral games.

Take-Aways: Don't lose yourself and transform into a bird. Especially one that looks like it has been covered in oil like that one episode of 'Saved By The Bell' with the oil spill. Poor Becky.

Oscar Worthy: I've forever been a fan of Natalie Portman and I think she brought it. She made us uncomfortable but also created an understanding of the desirous place her insanity came from. Best Actress: Done.

3. The Fighter: This film based on true events shows the solidarity of family...ghetto fabulous family, but kin no less. Micky, the younger of the two brothers, is a struggling boxer with all the pressure on him from his family to be a success. Micky relies on his crackhead brother to train him while his managing-mother's concern for his career seems to be influenced by the fact that Micky supports the family. There's street fights. Jail Time. Some ass kicking.

Take-Aways: If you haven't learned it from Whitney already, crack is whack. Just looking at how unattractive a normally attractive Christian Bale looks when he is simply pretending to be on fake crack, is DARE program enough for me. Just say no.

Oscar Worthy: Bale. Let me preface this with saying, I am not usually the biggest Bale fan in the slightest. But his character Dickey made you feel every emotion from disgust and hate to sadness and joy, which is an incredible task for someone playing a has-been fighter turned crackhead. I hope you pick up your Supporting Actor statue, but spare us from using your creepily annoying 'Batman' voice. Adams might also be looking at Supporting Actress because she was kind of a badass. Go girl.

4. Inception: I already devoted an entire blog to how spectacular this movie is. So read that here: http://relentlessreflection.blogspot.com/2010/07/bravo-nolan-bravo-reflections-on.html

Take-Aways: Don't be content with the wonder or be confused to know if your dream could exist within a dream. Within another dream. Also, purchase a spinning top if you ever need to discriminate between the two. Or three.

Oscar Worthy: I just really want Leo to get an Oscar already. How many Oscar winning movies must one be in before they individually get recognized?! That being said, this wasn't his best performance by any means and if he's against Eisenberg, I'm going to have to go with Jesse. Nolan better go home the gold, no doubt. It was kind of this year's 'Avatar' but Nolan and co. actually created the sets.

5. The Kids Are Alright: Firstly, I must mention that this is a Sundance film which makes me incredibly happy. I love it when a well-written story still is able to be told and well-received, even in the absence of special effects that are implemented by a program on the computer.

Take-Aways: Life is complicated. It's even more complicated when you're a lesbian who used sperm from an anonymous donor and then your child wants to find the sperm responsible for his existence. And then your lesbian mom sleeps with said sperm donor. Wait, why couldn't they just do it the old-fashioned way in the first place if coitus was inevitable?

Oscar Worthy: I'm always in Annette Benning's corner, but she will be beat out by Amy Adams (if nominated) or at least, should be.

And there ya have it. I tell no lies.

Set your DVR, alter that Netflix queue and tell Regal Cinemas I sent you.

Happy New Year, folks!

Moments: The Twenty-Ten Edition

My greatest fear is inevitable; the moment will pass and I will still be here, reveling in its magic.

2010 was filled with such moments. And THE moments of all moments.

I remember my first [well, one of] moment of 2010. I was in the back of a cab that was driving around in circles. No, this memory was not induced by a champagne toast; I have other witnesses to attest to this occurrence. He was literally driving in a circle.

My year was kind of like this. Having directions, the GPS was set, yet I wasn’t quite sure where I was going or what would happen. And I had my friends along for the ride, laughing at the hilarity of all situations. And there were many. Far too many to list in a blog and complicated with “insideness” that would probably just irritate you. Unless you are one of these people.

January.

[Egyptian Theater-Downtown Park City, Utah]

Park City. This trip will go down in the books as one of my favorites in this lifetime. And yes, I can confidently say lifetime…presuming that I’ll live an average-aged life to mid 80’s [or so, if I’m feeling really ambitious]. The atmosphere alone can make one fall in love with this locale. Jon Gosselin even tried to kill my Polygamy Porter buzz by stealing my cab, but the snow-packed streets had already warmed the heart of this one.

Memorable Moment(s): In a long weekend with one of my favorite girlfriends, Sarah, I saw 6 independent films, all awesome (how often do you get SIX for SIX!?), asked the adorable Joseph Gordon-Levitt a question about his dark film ‘Hesher’ in a Q&A after the film, and brushed elbows with a little known star I like to call Adrian Grenier. No literally, I turned to find the restroom and there were his curly locks, 7 inches above my stocking-capped head. And to think, the entire vision I had of what Sundance would be like came from his show…’Entourage.’

Full circle.

February.

[Pacific Ocean - Seal Rock, Oregon]

Newport. I’ve made a tradition of visiting this coastal town annually every February since I hit my 252nd month [that's 21 years for those of you measuring life in years] for their amazing Seafood & Wine Festival. It never disappoints. This year, my book club or better known as BRB, the Book Reading Babes, rented a house and made a weekend of it. We already have our place for February 2011 booked.

Yum to the Vin-O!

March.

[The Best French Toast in the universe- Cafe Nola, Bainbridge Island, Washington]

Seattle. The first of 4 trips I would take to our Northern neighbor in 2010 was to have a girl’s weekend. One of my great friends, Carey, flew out from New York to unite with us Pacific Northwesterners.

Memorable Moment: Café Nola. Located on Bainbridge Island just a ferry ride west of Seattle, this adorable eatery is the crafter of the best French Toast I’ve ever consumed. If you know me, you know I don’t speak lightly of “favorites” and I usually find it incredibly difficult to discern between numbers 1 and 7. There are no doubts here. We applauded after the meal.

Do yourself and your mouth a favor and make reservations.

April.

[Love Park - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]

Philly. My lovely friend Allison moved East to pursue her Doctorate in PT and I decided that spring time would make for a nice visit. My other adventurous pal, Megan, also happened to be residing on the East coast at that time in Boston and we decided that the city of brotherly love would make for a great rendezvous.

Memorable Moment: I’d been on the ground about 2 hours and had just dropped my bags off with Allison. I was looking for the set of Robert DeNiro and Bradley Cooper’s movie [obviously] and stumbled upon LOVE park. Funny. When you’re looking for other things, love just sneaks up on you.

Also, reenacting Rocky with Megan on the infamous steps of the Art Museum…without ever watching Rocky. Don’t judge. I know, it’s almost as bad as being a die-hard-poo-talking Oregon fan and never stepping foot on the Eugene campus. I digress, we’re talking about good things here…

June.

[Archery Summit Vineyard artwork - Dundee, Oregon]

Wine Country. Park City Sarah [For which she will be called the duration of this blog] and I have quite the affinity for grapes [preferably fermented] and try to experience as much of Oregon wine country as possible. So to celebrate my 26^th year she planned an extravagant tour of wine country.

Memorable Moment: Sitting on the patio of our first vineyard stop, Archery Summit, closing my eyes and just breathing that fresh Oregon air. What an invigorating feeling.

Oh, I also got a tattoo.

July.

[La Playa del Amor - Cabo San Lucas, Mexico]

Cabo. The best friend, her roommates and I planned a summer vacation to our Southern brethren. Well I guess Americans use the term, “brethren” conveniently. You know, when we want to enjoy its beautiful rays we say, “brethren”; when they want to enjoy the opportunity of our land and what’s left of employment we say, “illegal immigrants.” Flip-Flop.

We stayed in a marina-side resort in the heart of Cabo and filled our tummies with Mexican food, our skin with melanoma, and our livers with, well, with adult beverages.

Memorable Moment: I took a little glass bottomed-boat ride to Lover’s beach or “La Playa del Amor” if we are using the native tongue, and it rivaled some of the beaches I experienced in the Mediterranean. Uh May Zing.

Mama K’s Wedding. One of my great college gal pals, Mama K married her OSweetheart in the most luxurious affair of the year. I had the incredible honor of serving as one of her maids and giving a toast. For some reason, I can never hold it together when I’m discussing emotions and began crying in the first sentence. I think it went well.

[Waterfront - Downtown Portland, Oregon]

Memorable Moment: Right before Mama K took center stage, we were anxiously awaiting the phone call to summon us down to wedding headquarters. By “we” I mean the bridesmaids. Mama K was as calm as ever. The phone rang, she stood up looking ever-so glamorous, and we followed our girl in tow to marry her guy. What a wonderful day.

August.

[Fountains at the Bellagio - Las Vegas, Nevada]

Vegas. Park City Sarah and Allison [Philly] and I decided we needed a get-a-way to reunite. The three of us met serving as loyal tour guides of the great Oregon State University back in 2004. During that time, we took a beach trip to Lincoln City and cleverly dubbed it “BT ’06”-Beach Trip 06. We needed something to top such an adventure. [For those of you who aren't Oregonians, Lincoln City is about 2.5 hours away from where we lived. You now see why the adventure was necessary]

We named this one VT ’10. And my did it blow BT ’06 out of the water.

Memorable Moments: Vocally assaulting the Bellagio (by Bellagio, I mean whoever was in front of the Bellagio in earshot) for daring to play a Faith Hill song during the upscale fountain show that usually plays the likes of Andrea Bocelli and Elton John, meeting Italian friends and eating at the Brazilian Steakhouse, Samba.

The other moments are meant to stay in Vegas. And will. Until my aforementioned death in my mid 80’s.

Crater Lake.

[The Lookout - Crater Lake, Oregon]

I found myself troubled with my Oregon identity and being able to label myself as an Oregonian with never setting foot on arguably the most famous of Oregon soils. Crater Lake. So it was decided! I woke up one day, called my friends Chris and Lisa, and asked if they’d be down for a brief camping trip to the landmark of all Oregon landmarks.

Memorable Moment: The drive seemed to be taking forever. You know one of those ones where you’re so ridden with excitement that every time you see a sign mentioning the name of your destination you think you’re almost there and should see noticeable definitions of the place any minute now? The are-we-there-yet syndrome was kicking in at full notch and just when I thought I couldn’t stand it another moment, into clear view came Crater Lake. I nearly jumped out of the moving automobile that I was operating, to run to it.

All good things come to those who wait.

September.

School started and thus, ending my adventures. I did sneak in one last jaunt of summer freedom to Seattle :).

October.

[Waiting for the shuttle that would never come - Corvallis, Oregon]

Homecoming. I planned a little reunion trip to our college town with my college pals. Yes, I know, now that I teach and “spend” a lot of time there, what could I possibly need a reunion for? Basically, I arrive when class begins and depart when it ends. I don’t “spend” random time there. And it is a completely different experience being an instructor compared with being a student and not being surrounded with your closest network of friends.

Memorable Moment: Tailgating and revisiting our pedestrian roots that we grew so familiar with in our undergrad years.

November.

[The Cutest Baby Feet Ever]

Olivia. I’m not certain if the memory is still so vivid because of its recency or if I will be able to recall it with so much emotional clarity in years to come. I hope I will be able to. But what I will always keep with me is the knowledge of how incredibly much my world transformed and the growth of my heart on November 13^th 2010.

December.

[Mount Hood, Oregon]

[Deschutes Brewery - Bend, Oregon]

Bend. We took a quick trip to Central, OR with New York Carey, Shayna and her boyfriend Josh to Carey's parent's abode. It snowed immensely, we made snow angels, and visited Oregon's breweries. I've been to Sam Adam's in Boston which is arguably one of the more popular national breweries. I realize the popularity of their [mediocre] beer. But they have nothing on Deschutes.

And still…Olivia.

Memorable Moment: Watching that girl grow. My oh my.

The Rituals. Even with these amazing adventures, my year would be unfulfilled without ‘True Blood’ Sundays in the summer with Park City Sarah and Jenn, that transform into NBC Thursdays or Glee Tuesdays [accommodating to schedules] with S, my phone dates with my favorite East coasters, the daily and vital chats with the best friend, the monthly BRB meetings discussing our latest good read and the necessary Happy Hours with good friends.

The 'iDo's' & 'iWills.'

[Northern Lights Christmas Tree Farm - Pleasant Hill, Oregon]

And to the Farber's [see July], McBride's McDonald's and Starr's, I'm in adoration of your strong bonds with your now spouses, and your oh-so-different nuptial gatherings were blissful. Whether in the fanciness of downtown Portland, the beachside of Otter crest or in the midst of a farm on a clear and perfect Oregon summer's night, I wish you eternal joy.

To those three mighty special women who have been such prominent people not only in my 2010, but in my life [Nicole-20 years of friendship, Kristen-we are going on 17 years I believe and JGonz-we're working on 7], I am elated for your engagements. More so, I am glad your guys understand and appreciate the true unique beauty of not only the outside, but of your hearts and minds. Mazel Tov, my friends. He should've and did put a ring on it.

I revel in all these memories; the large and momentous to the routine and random that intervene the ordinary. That’s where the inside jokes are made. That’s where life resides.

There’s no telling what this next year will bring, but I will be sure to buckle up. After all, safety first. And no one wants a ticket.

Even if I am just driving around in circles.

I see London, I see France...

I see London, I see France, TSA can see your underpants.

So what, who cares? Guess what? We all have the same anatomy.

[Yes, I just used a classic childhood taunting-rhyme to talk about a very adult issue. And it couldn't be more fitting.]

If I hear one more person complain about their privacy being violated due to a body scanner or pat down at an airport, I am going to suggest they google '9-11' footage and watch how easily life crumbles into nothing but a pile of rubble when we resort to the power of metal detectors alone.

I bet the families of those 3,000 people would've loved to have such a technology as they could be enjoying a meal with the person who occupied that now empty seat that haunts their dining room table.

TSA isn't coming into your homes and performing an unwarranted strip search on you. That would be unlawful. Rather, you are choosing to fly. No one is making you travel. Just as no one made you eat that last piece of holiday pie that put a couple more LB's on your waistline that you are now embarrassed for Huey the TSA guy to see via a body scanner. Hey, maybe this will make Americans get back into shape! This would also prevent the unwanted rollover of skin fat from the patron of middle seat 10B. And you thought you were lucky scoring a window seat. Life's funny that way.

I think TSA is onto something bigger here...[pun intended] maybe, just maybe, they have a plan to cure Americans of obesity one body scanner at a time.

Feel violated and don't want the "man" (or TSA woman who has some serious man-features going on) to see the hot-xrayed-version-of-your-bod??

Solution: Get in a car and take a road trip. Hop on an Amtrak or Greyhound. Take a Carnival Cruise...although I hear power isn't guaranteed and you could potentially be lodging next door to a murderer.

So how about you stay at home and the rest of us travel. That way, you can keep that super-secret-anatomy that no one else in this world has, away from TSA and you won't lengthen the wait time of the already congested security checkpoint line with your ridiculous protests.

That's what Michael Scott and I call a win-win-win.

The one with all the Thanksgivings....

I used to loathe Thanksgiving. Instead of a happy grumble of excitement in my belly looking forward to the day, I stressed at the thought of it. Because of this I found myself in Reno in 2007 and NYC in 2008. The latter being one of the best days (trip for that matter) of my entire life.

My animosity for the aforementioned holiday did not come from a distaste of any particular Thanksgiving course much like Chandler, the star of the show from which this blog title is stolen from, or the "stomach-is-overcapacity" message that my brain received a turkey-bite too late. I was plagued by the symptoms of any child of divorced parents.

[This is in no way a poor-me, post. In fact, it's quite the opposite.]

With each turn of the pages in my planner closer to our Thursday celebration, a nauseating feeling would rise in my stomach.

I felt slaughtered. Much like the turkeys that many would be feasting upon (except for the lucky SOB that ended up at The White House and was pardoned). Or the way the Natives did after the Pilgrims, well, slaughtered them. Now I'm being dramatic.

Where was I to go? Who was I to spend it with? Running around town sounded like too much work and the thought of leaving one parent for another brought indescribable guilt of picking favorites. After you ate dinner you were supposed to sit. Let the fat absorb and well, get fat. Unbuckle that top button; loosen that belt. Not go to dinner #2.

So I didn't do it. Goodbye Portland. Hello anywhere else.

I had to float away for a little bit to find my way home...and float I did. Just like the giant Shrek I watched fly down that New York street in November 2008. But after this glorious flight, Shrek was deflated into nothing but a glob of green wrinkled plastic without the assistance of helium and his team of people that held his strings down to keep him aloft.

Like the helium in a balloon, these ideas of stress surrounding what should be a happy holiday had blown up to capacity in my head. And I wasn't allowing my special "team" to help me through it.

Enter Thanksgiving Twenty-Ten.

I woke up at my dad's and took my brother his favorite pie that I make annually, no none of that Pumpkin business, Sweet Potato Pie. And then I held her. Miss Olivia.

Her first Thanksgiving. She wouldn't be feasting on Turkey, pie, or gumbo (another family tradition), she'd just be spending time with those who loved her. Eating. Sleeping. And that's all it took was a look in those big dark eyes staring up to me. The importance of my team.

After sufficient cuddling time, I went to dinner #1 at mom's with my grandma and uncle. We watched Charlie Brown [granny and I share a love for Charlie Brown], I slept and then awoke in time to head to my next destination.

To dinner #2 I went with dad, other grandma, my 2 other uncles and cousins. I sang 'The Beatles' while my cousins played back up guitar and drums on Rock band followed by the annual never-ending Domino game. We lost. But we had fun.

I was afforded the luxury of seeing all of my family in a day's time. How lucky I am to not only have the ability to see them all, but to have people that actually care that much about me in my life. It's easy to lose sight when you have these things within your grasp and you forget about those who don't have that love in arm's reach.

We're born within this small group of people out of 6 billion other ones walking upon this Earth, in such a specific moment in time. There's no choice to where you end up. But there is the choice to love.

I'm thankful for my team. This indescribable bond we share that requests nothing in return and I only feel for a very few select people on this Earth. I now realize what a unique experience this is.

What a gift.

The world made a little space today.

It may seem odd to question the significance of being present at a birth as this is the most thrilling of moments, but I contemplate everything and I've never experienced such a moment.

I was the youngest in my family. Obviously, my parents had been on the planet long before I and since I was the youngest, I never experienced the birth of a younger sibling. My cousins were born either before me, when I was too young to really know what was going on, and when I was old enough, they were out of state. But today, I was old enough and sitting in that waiting room right down the hall, holding my breath to ensure I’d hear the beautiful screams of our little girl, my niece, when she was ready to join us.

We arrived at 6pm Friday evening. She arrived at 2:16pm Saturday afternoon and trust, not a minute sooner (That is the very short version to a long laborious process). Her mother, by the way, is a rock star. What she endured and the duration of which, was simply incredible. She brought it.

The world made a little space today (yesterday now). Enough for 7 pound-7 ounces of joy to squeeze into and make her own. And in the process, forever changing the lives of those who awaited and welcomed her.

It is an indescribable excitement that I, or anyone for that matter, feels about the birth of a baby that is apart of their family or part of someone’s family whom they are close to. These last 9 months have been an extreme test of patience (which I have little of anyway but the teaching thing is slowly but surely helping), awaiting the arrival of my niece. Of course I filled this time buying her cute outfits and accessories which I would one day get to dress her in and books that I still can’t wait to read to her and help her sound out those tough words in. We’ll succeed together.

Seeing that full head of dark hair and that perfect blend of skin to make an olive complexion, I could not and did not try to hold back any tears. Here she was minutes ago a bump in a belly whose heart beat was our joyous music, and now here she was making the cutest sneezes, a noise much sweeter than anything I’ve ever heard before and sucking her oh-so-tiny thumb.

Staring at this little creation in my brother’s arms as he looks at her with adoration, steals my complete breath, takes all the moisture out of my mouth and I shed relentless tears that I won’t fight back. Here is the person who’s foot of the bed I snuck into on nights where the shadows scared me on my walls or a nightmare startled me awake, holding his very own daughter. He’s the one I always resented for being overprotective or too “nosey” about where I was and who I was with, now holding his own little girl. How lucky she will be to have someone who cares for her more than anything else on this Earth. And on those days when she is frustrated and doesn’t understand the loving place it comes from, I can’t wait to talk her through it. I know he’ll make space when she too thinks that there are monsters in her closet.

I’m so excited to get to know her. I wonder what kind of ice-cream she’ll pick when I take her to Baskin Robbins or what her favorite movie will be. I wonder what colors she’ll want to decorate her first big girl room in and which Disney character she will run to hug on her first trip to Disneyland. Oh, the places she’ll go.

In closing, I happen to be reading ‘To Kill a Mockingbird” right now. For some reason, every book I seem to pick up, conveniently fits right into my life at that moment. And for this moment particularly, “To Kill a Mockingbird” has touched me.

“Jem” I asked, “what’s a mixed child?”

“Half white, half colored. They’re real sad.”

“Sad, how come?”

“They don’t belong anywhere. Colored folks won’t have ‘em cause they're half white; white folks won’t have ‘em cause they’re colored so they’re in betweens. They don’t belong anywhere.”

There is nothing more beautiful than the blend of these two colors in her skin. She’s blessed with the absolute best of both worlds and I will always tell her that. I’m sure the world will too.

The world has made a space for you and that is with us and in our hearts forever. There is nowhere else you're supposed to be.

You belong right here, Olivia.

The Rent IS too damn high.

Thank God Midterm elections are O to the VER.

I'm also very thankful for Jimmy McMillan for sending us comic relief in his newly founded party: The Rent is Too Damn High Party. Hey, makes more sense to me than the tea party.

I'm sick of the libel that invades my mailbox on its unfriendly card stock.

I'm sick of the slander that interrupts my otherwise pleasant television watching experience. I'm sick of the lies that people regurgitate as truths in order to further their own political career claiming it's really the people they care about.

I'm sick of the hate and disrespect for our President that so easily slides off the tongues of [Fox] news correspondents, disregarding the inheritance of a poo-pile on his desk from a President they elected.

I'm plain ill by the little regard and civility we have toward other human beings when trying to be elected into office.

We have people claiming not to be witches in the same breath they are talking about masturbation (but something tells me you are a witch, O'Donnell), taking baseball bats to the podium in their cessation speeches (what the hell Paladino?), Americans stomping on each other's heads because they cannot accept peaceful blue protesters, and elected officials claiming that our President is taking lavish trips that cost the American people 200 million dollars a day only to find out these "factual" numbers came from an anonymous source in the Indian media. These are the people running [or attempting] to gain a seat in our government.

They be crazy.

Batsh*t crazy. [Related: Why is it that bat feces are seen as crazy?]

No wonder Jon Stewart felt the need to have a rally to restore sanity. Although a satirical persona, Stewart is a smart guy and articulated something that I'm sure many of you believe to be at the root of our problem. The media.

"The press can hold its magnifying glass to our problems and illuminate problems heretofore unseen. Or it can use its magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous-flaiming-ant epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing."

Yep. That about sums it up.

We can't base elections off of who spent more money dragging their opponent through a poo-storm. Oh wait, we do. What a waste of time and resources. Why not donate that money to the economic turmoil you're complaining about in your stump or to a cause where it actually goes toward helping people. Because that's what you want to do when you're in office right? Help people? Not to sound cliche, but put your fat wad of cash where your mouth is.

I wish we could do away with parties altogether. I know this wouldn't be possible as we see each other as either red or blue (and if you're not one of these, we don't care). How I long for the days when 'Tea Party' was something I associated with a girl called Alice in wonderland. And while I'm wishing for things, I also miss the days where Sarah Palin was not part of our vernacular and certainly not meshed in the same sentence as 'candidate for Commander in Chief.'

I'm starting to feel ill again. So I'll leave you with this:

"Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that they're just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it's something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises." - J. Stewart

I'm pretty certain though, that the insanity all goes back to one issue and one issue alone:

The rent is too. damn. high.

The student becomes the teacher.

I often talk about the humorous shortcomings of my students. And why not? They're such an easy target and they say the darndest thing (although in a much more irritating and not in the cute funny way in which a 3 year old does). I don't usually give enough credit to the ones who inspire me and who want to learn...which is the reason I do my job. I would have to love it for how much time I spend commuting to and fro.

One of the classes I teach is Interpersonal communication where a chapter is devoted to the sense of self and the development of the self. Some people think that this sounds like cheese whiz and is an easy feat, but self-discovery is one of the hardest tasks known to persons. Why do you think our self-help aisle is filled to the brim? Or that there are professions geared completely toward helping people figure themselves out?

In an activity we did the other day, students had to identify their self-concept (who they think they are) along with identifying stereotypes that they believe or have experienced people placing on them. And what an intense and enlightening time for me as the teacher.

Some of these stereotypes were as follows:

From a Muslim student: Terrorist.

From a Hispanic student: Illegal Immigrant with a coinciding picture of handcuffs.

From a tattooed Caucasian student: Scary, intimidating.

From an African-American student: Only in college by way of Athletic scholarship.

From an overweight student: Pig.

How quick we are to judge another based solely on what it is they appear to be to us on this outside shell without so much as even opening their mouth. When they talked about these stereotypes placed upon them based on these characteristics (some innate), they identified feeling pain and being discriminated against. In diverse groups this was even more interesting as you could see color run away from people's faces as they may have (may still) hold that stereotype. But being faced with the testimony of a person on the other side of such a hurtful assumption is a tough liquid gel tab to swallow (I have trouble with these all the time. And they make me queasy). It was not an easy activity on either side by any means and I found myself almost getting choked up listening to their stories.

We are all but a collection of blood, bone, muscle, fat, skin, and all that other gross stuff that I turn away from on TLC. We are compiled of the same material. All human. How dare we let television shows and biased media shape our perspective on what all people of a certain group are without ever getting the chance to know them.

Tyler Perry-I have no Madea character in my family. And our family isn't as corny and unoriginal as 'House of Payne.' Watching that show is even worse than taking a gel tab.

Oh and that Muslim girl? 17 year old college freshman, not a terrorist.

The Hispanic guy? First generation college student.

The African-American guy? He got into college on his own merit and is trying out for the basketball team.

How have we misjudged you?

Oh, and just so you don't think I've lost my sense of good-natured humor, I "learned" a new vocabulary word today from one of my students: Symblify.

The Social Network

"Socializing over the internet is what reality TV is to reality." -Aaron Sorkin

[Not real]

Is it weird that I strangely agree with Sorkin yet I am a habitual user of Facebook, Twitter and oh yeah, the blog spot? And how is communicating over the internet not real? It's happening. Just in a different space and in a different way.

This film was spectacular. I find it fascinating to follow the story of who it was that founded this pop culture phenomenon that is so heavily embedded in [500] million people's lives. And further than that, what a person is willing to do for success...even to the people closest to them. Jesse Eisenberg, I am so impressed by your portrayal of Zuckerberg. I hate you, but am simultaneously laughing with you and not at you.

Something that I struggle with is the impending question of why do we feel the need to be connected at all times? We are in a society that is positively obsessed with what other people are doing and in turn, wish to share every moment with other people. Enter Twitter.

Granted, I use Twitter. Just because I use it, doesn't mean I approve of its primary use which is for people to use it as a stream of consciousness for every moment of their lives. I use it for the occasional anecdote or funny story that I believe other people may find funny; something to brighten their day perhaps. It is still such a peculiarity that I don't quite understand. Plus, I admit that I do enjoy hearing what Steve Martin is up to.

And Facebook.

Facebook's users have made visiting the site apart of their routine.

-Wake up

-Eat breakfast

-Brush your teeth

-Check Facebook

-Update status on your mood about how you feel about said breakfast.

When I realized how embedded this was into my routine as I was reading 'The Accidental Billionaires" which Sorkin's movie is based on, I quit FB for a week. Okay, not exactly. I just limited my activity and the frequency of my updates. I wanted to see if I'd feel different. In fact, I felt better. But this absence wasn't enduring.

Just like the lure of a bad relationship, I went back.

That's my extent of involvement with social networking sites so those are the only ones I can really speak to. One thing that I think people really need to take into consideration is how they treat others when they are engrossed in their social networking world.

The Etiquette Rules:

1. If you are in the company of real live friends/people (Face-to-Face), stop incessantly texting and stop checking your facebook. It's extremely rude and impossible to have a conversation with you. It's as if to say, I'd rather be spending time with someone else (or texting in their presence instead of yours) and I am going to make that blatantly clear. I don't open up my book and start reading a chapter while I'm talking to you, do I? Hmm...maybe I'll try this in retaliation...

2. It's unnecessary and annoying when you make anonymous posts about your feelings. "ie: Man, I wish that didn't have to happen to me today!" Obviously this is an invitation for follow-up questions such as "oh no, what happened?" Save us the time and just say what it is you'd really like to share with all 400+ friends of yours. And don't respond, "I wish I could say but I can't." Really? Then don't post anything at all.

3. If you are having a phone conversation with someone, stop having ongoing conversations with everyone else around you. If you're busy, don't answer your phone or don't call me. (Not so much social networking as it is a technological pet peeve, but relevant nonetheless)

4. Don't post pictures with a caption that reads "Ugh, hate this picture of me." Really? If that were true, you probably wouldn't have opted to share that with all of your so-called friends.

It's a weird and confusing time for relationships existing and being maintained online and I feel weird being that part of the way I spend my time is based on the idea and execution of a bored college freshman.

Live from New York...it's Saturday Night?

Dear Lorne Michaels,

I have been a fan of your show since I was born. Some families have pizza Friday or Saturday movie nights, but our family's Saturday night ritual would revolve around such skits as The Delicious Dish, Mary Katherine Gallaghar, Night at the Roxbury and of course, the Spartan cheerleaders. And thanks to the advent of DVD's and internet, I was able to catch up on skits that were before my time. SNL was truly a great show.

And I don't believe the talent is gone. I'll be the first to admit that I still watch your show. Perhaps it is because I have a not-so-secret crush on Seth Meyers so I'm lured in to watch the show...at least until 'The Weekend Update.' However, while I'm watching, I'm constantly thinking, who is going to surprise us from season's past on tonight's show to make it worth watching?? Last night: Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch from previous casts and Justin Timberlake, a beloved host of SNL's present...and of course, alum Amy Poehler hosted. Toward the end of last season you also brought back most of the aforementioned women for a show and overshadowed those who are actually on your alleged present cast.

So I ask myself, when should the show just end rather than rely on talent's of SNL's ghost past? There is some good material that when executed correctly, is rather hilarious. Personally, I'm a fan of the 'Scared Straight' program, 'What up with that,' and of course 'The View' parody. Oddly enough, those all involve the humorous stylings of Keenan Thompson. Is this why you brought another black dude on cast, Lorne? The one with the over-the-top impressions of Will Smith and Chris Tucker? Spoiler Alert: He's not funny. If you think that's good, hire me. I do a damn good Oprah. That's actually funny.

You can't expect Kristen Wiig to carry the funny one handedly and Seth Meyers to carry the sex appeal (oh it's just me who finds him attractive? Nevermind then).

It's normal that after 36 years a show isn't at the level it once was...that's why most shows only last 5-9 seasons (unless you're ER, Law & Order or a Soap Opera) and you try to counter this with a changing cast. I think you need a Plan B, and not the kind that you can get at Planned Parenthood. Something needs to be done or I'll be whistling a Joy Behar sounding tune when it comes to your show--So what, who cares?

Get it done-

Teela

PS- Oh and Katy Perry for the season opener?? Really?? She should've taken a tip from Ashlee Simpson and left the vocals to a recorded mix and you should've taken a cue from 'Sesame Street' and cut. her. out. She sounded like an animal in the midst of being tortured. Truly, horrible. Not even a hot mess...just a mess.

The Buffer Zone.

This past Friday, I decided to go on a solo date to see "The Town." Being the punctual person I am, I left early to ensure I'd make it in time for the 8 o'clock showing and of course, to claim a good seat in the theater.

I got to the theater so early that I decided I could make the 7:25 instead. The ticket dude said the theater was only half full but upon closer inspection (going into the theater), found it was well over half full and I didn't think my neck would appreciate the cruel angle of the front row and I didn't want to bother anyone who had clearly gotten their early for a good seat. So being the good samaritan I am, I went to wait in the 8pm theater.

The theater was empty and I sat at the very top in the middle. Perfect. Or so I thought.

5 minutes after I claimed my seat, a girl walks up to the ENTIRE empty row and asks, "are you saving these seats?" To which I honestly reply, "no." This apparently was an invitation to sit next to me-in one seat over. "Great!" She replies. "We'll be kinda cozy!"

Well, we wouldn't be cozy if you decided to move further away from me.

5 more minutes pass and her 2 friends join her. The boy goes and sits on the other side of her and instead of following suit, the girl opts for the seat right next to me.

WTF is going on, I think. She has the whole other side with no other movie goer patrons. I'm having a 'Friends' Chandler moment. You know, where he has to hug-and-roll Janice over. She has the entire other side of the bed!! Move. Over.

She says something to her friends about having to sit directly under the projector, she's apparently OCD about it. After a few minutes, I move a seat over to give my personal bubble the air it needs and deserves. This apparently was an open invitation for said guy, to switch sides that he is sitting on to occupy my empty seat. Yes, he now is sitting right next to me. Oh, and the rest of the row is still...entirely empty. I move over another seat to reinstate the fact that I have a 1 chair rule. Did he not understand why I moved over from his friend in the first place?!

The movie theater starts to fill up. A family sits on my other side, kindly leaving a chair in between us as normal people do, and the previews start.

Now is a good time to mention that I LOVE PREVIEWS. Trailers are my fave. The music. The intensity. The little glimpses to a story that is not yet complete. It brings me indescribable joy to look forward to a flick that has not yet released.

To recap: I'm not a fan of tardiness and I love previews. Let's continue.

2 boys enter the theater and give it a once over.

Do not even think about coming up to my row.

They make their way up until the stairs run out and look over in my direction. I have them in my peripheral but am trying to appear as if my full attention is on the screen.

"Excuse me!" One of them whisper-shouts. "Is anyone sitting there?" I look around in obliviousness as if he could possibly be talking to someone else. When everyone looks right back at the solo girl in the theater, I impolitely grumble, "no."

I switch seats, next to the boy from the triad and the 2 boys sit down. New boy sitting next to me decides now is the time for a review of the movie we are about to see.

"Is this supposed to be good?" He asks. He has now displaced me from my seat (which I got their early to claim) and now he is interrupting my previews.

No idiot, I enjoy paying $10 to purposely come to the movies to see terrible films. *

"Yeah." I reply, in the most irritated voice I can possibly use. The previews continue and the 2 boys get up and leave.

I move back to my seat.

The movie has now started with an intense opening sequence. We're about 20 minutes in when I see a woman enter the theater and starts eyeing the seats. She looks in my direction. In case anyone is wondering, it's probably at least 8:45. Movie started at 8.

The bitch starts to climb the stairs.

She shuffles down the row. In front of the family. And now in front of me.

"Can you scoot down? My husband is coming too."

I didn't even respond. I angrily get up and use every nonverbal that one can possibly detect in the dark, make it my mission to show this woman how much I hate her. I heavily sigh/groan, drop into my seat and take ownership over the armrest.

Her husband comes in about 10 minutes later to which she waves some loose papers in the air to flag him down. Yes, she had papers in her lap in a dark theater. I assume that it's on these very papers where she misread the movie time. As soon as he sits down they start talking about the 10 minutes that she's seen and probably trying to piece together what they missed. When they realize they have no clue what's going on, they get up and leave.

I reclaim my chair.

I hear a faint laugh followed by a whisper, "How many times are you going to move?" Says the boy who I moved because of the 2nd time.

I shoot him a glare which he obviously can't see and redirect my attention onto Jon Hamm's beautiful face where it should be.

What can I say? I like my buffer zone.

*I actually didn't pay to see the movie as Regal had gifted me a free movie ticket per my membership and loyalty in the Regal Crown Club.

Pity Party? Not on Oprah's watch.

I am starting to become frustrated with how easily our society complains. About everything. Collectively-I'm not just pointing my little finger at you, because we all know how that pointing thing works. Three are looking right back at me.

As I'm looking forward to starting work here in a week, I am overcome with what I consider to be severe anxiety. I tend to always fill my plate to the brim at a buffet and manage to never be able to finish it all. I do the same thing in life.

This Fall term, I now have both my full-time teaching position at a university that won't be named due to public forum and my fear of stalkers, but I also took on a part-time teaching position at a community college. Teaching 6 classes is apparently much more than the 4 I was teaching before. Especially when they were all the same time duration and all the same subject at the same location. No big. I've added a different subject, 2 different textbooks (not by choice) and my classes range from 1 hour sessions to 3 hour sessions. Currently, my Monday has me teaching from 8:30AM and ending at 9:00PM at night...in a town that still fords me a delightful hour and a half commute home.

The thought alone makes me want to curl up in a ball and turn on Oprah. So that's just what I did.

Apparently Oprah's show was not inundated by the jovial demeanor of her premiere this past Monday where she'd selflessly surprised her entire studio audience with a free trip to AuuussTRAAAALLLiiiiaaaaaa!!!! And her favorite white guy John TraVOOOOlllttaaaaa, was also not there piloting the plane as we was on Monday.

Instead, 4 segments featured families/people who were suffering from the most traumatic of situations that they'd ever been in their lives:

1) 2 men held hostage just 2 weeks ago at Discovery and how they made it out alive.

2) The family of a woman who had strangled her 2 baby boys, placed them in car seats and then drove them into a river. Of course she's still alive.

3) A man who's 2 little girls and wife were murdered in front of him and he was the only who was able to escape and make it out alive.

4) The story that hits closest to home, because it's happening in my home, Kyron Horman's poor parents going on their third month of having no idea where their sweet little boy is.

These are real problems.

I turned off the set, looked next to me at my pile of textbooks and daunting computer screen with the ever-so-annoying blinking cursor. Ain't lookin so bad after all...

Really?? I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Here I am sitting in this beautiful condo with everything I could want and much more than what is necessary, stressed with the pressure of 2 jobs in an economy that has most people without employment at all. Not okay.

It's all about reframing what we might think is initially problematic or what triggers our stress-o-meter and then thinking, is this really cause for complaint? Or am I just a lucky bastard to be breathing? Sometimes it is...and I get that. But let's not let the Debbie in us get us down about things that are actually our fortunes.

Who knew I'd turn into an optimist....

Thanks Oprah.

(I was at the Academy Awards when this picture of O was taken. Another reason I can't complain. I've been to the Oscars.)

True Magic.

How is it that one of the most calming and magical experiences I have ever had occurs in the middle of one of the most chaotic cities in the world?

Saw it no less than 8 times in the 4 days I was there.

I always must wait for my song: Andrea Bocelli feat Sarah Brightman - Time to Say Goodbye. Note to those in charge of the musical score, Faith Hill-This Kiss is not acceptable for the fountain show. Or anywhere in Vegas for that matter. Stick to Sinatra, Elton, and oh yes...Bocelli.

Good thing I have good girlfriends that put up with my little obsession :)

The Book Worm.

At the beginning of Twenty-Ten, I didn't make many resolutions but I set a couple goals.* Among these goals was to read 40 books this year. I read 30 last year and thought, hey, what's 10 more? Apparently, a lot.

Here we are entering the 8th month which means we are two-thirds of our way through the year and I am only halfway through my book list. I'm no mathematician, but these things are not equal.

I'm sure I would be further through if I was going by page count ie: Every 275 pages equals a book. Instead, I'm pounding out 450 pagers as well as 200 pagers and counting them equally. If we are getting technical, then I should've also considered print size as well as surface area of a page.

Well, we can see why I didn't quite go this far.

But I don't care that much and I guess should feel happy with whatever my book count ends up because at least I am spending a significant amount of time educating myself in nonfiction and exploring the tales of the fictitious. Both are increasing my brain function more than if I was say, sitting in front of the television (with the exception of Jeopardy and Cash Cab). I also find it more difficult to snack when I'm reading (and am deterred when I am reading a book from the library and I come across the previous borrower's lunch) and thus, reading reduces uneccessary calories. My new work out plan.

For those looking for a good novel, I've listed the top 5 books I have read so far this year with a quick synopsis. I've read a few horrendous books, but I've been impressed with most of my shelf.

1. Those who Save Us Historical Fiction

Recommended for: The Historian.

This was our first read of our book club this year and it was really heavy. Maybe save this one for post summer time rays. It was a perfect January read.

2. Game Change Political Nonfiction

Recommended for: The Political Pundit.

If you have any interest in current politics and the last election, you will surely enjoy this. A journalist wrote this book so there is definitely the human interest piece as well as the "behind the scenes" to both campaigns. More time is spent on Obama's camp than McCain's, but he won.

3. The Zahir Fiction

Recommended for: The Soul Searcher.

This will surely have you searching your mind and soul. There are an endless number of pieces that you will want to keep with you forever from this one. It's a slower read as it takes some time to absorb, but definitely worth every moment.

4. Crazy In Alabama Fiction

Recommended for: The Light-Hearted.

We read this for our first summer book read in my book club and it's definitely an odd story. I admit, I was rather skeptical of it at first glance but then found I couldn't put it down. Really an endearing tale of a boy who doesn't understand why race matters in his tumultous Southern town. Oh, and then there's the part of his aunt carrying the head of the husband she murdered on a cross-country road trip...in a hat box no less.

5. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks Nonfiction

Recommended for: The Biologist. Or those that didn't pay attention in high school/college biology.

I'm not a scientist in the same way I'm not a mathematician, but this story resonated with me as HeLa cells have played such a prominent role in the history of medicine. I loved that it didn't read like a biology book yet the author was able to explain concepts to the scientifically-feeble-minded. It was also a human story; we learned about the woman and the family behind the cells which had us battling between what is morally right and when do the ends justify the means.

Happy Reading!

*Yes, there is a difference between resolutions and goals. Resolutions, in my opinion, refer to something you want to change to make yourself a better person than you have been in the past. Essentially, to resolve problematic behavior ie: I never see my grandma, I'm going to go visit her once a month this year so I see her more. A goal on the other hand, is something you intend to do regardless ie: I will make $100 in tips tonight.

Subtle difference? Yes. But still a difference. Probably stretching the elastic a little thin, but I don't care for the word 'resolution.'

Oh, waiting rooms

Oh, waiting rooms.

As if my eye infection isn't enough.

There are some scenarios in which I don't wish to socialize. If I'm at a sporting event, a show-movie, music, theater-a bar, etc. I don't mind or would even say I invite conversation with random people that have similar interests. However, while I'm sitting in a waiting room of a Pharmacy at a Doctor's office where privacy is afforded and even encouraged, I really don't want to talk to you.

Usually I ward off unwanted conversation by reading whatever book I am carrying around with me. Unfortunately, on many levels, my current ailment is with my eye and I was unable to partake in my beloved hobby. I guess this made me a free agent for conversation to other people plagued by their health.

As I am diverting my eyes to the reader board hoping that my name will appear, I hear an inaudible but noticeable mumble from the lady at my 9 o'clock. I look up and she is looking at me (I think...like I said, my eye is F'd at this point) so as not to be rude I say, "I'm sorry?" That was all she needed.

"These prescriptions. I'm waiting for Percocet since I'm having all my bottom teeth pulled today, well, except for 3 of them that are staying. I already took a leftover Percocet this morning to prepare."

I return a polite smile hoping that my own pearly whites will never have to be pulled in their entireity. I avert my eyes. Nope, not enough Teela.

"I went to visit my friend in Yuma and hopped on down to Mexico and loaded up on Omoxycillin. A lot of my friends don't have healthcare so if they need it, I'll have it for them. Prices are outrageous in this country!"

A confused and involuntary head nod came from yours truly and I don't say anything as I don't want to encourage any further elaboration from this woman who doesn't know what boundaries are.

"When I was 19, I had radiation, probably up until I was 24 or 25. Had to have all of my upper teeth pulled and replaced with dentures." At this point, she opens her mouth and slides what appear to be her unwashed fingers along her upper teeth. As if the words alone would not suffice.

"Couldn't do the bottom then, so here I am." Yes, that you are...and I am so fortunate to have been here at the same time on the same day. She pauses and then to no one in particular shouts, "Come on guys! You can do better than this!" She turns back to me. "They're usually so quick here."

Finally after about 5 more minutes on would-be-toothless-thank-you-dentures woman's medical history, her name appeared. I kindly told her good luck on her teeth pulling and was relieved. Freed.

Or so I thought.

I took out the good ole Droid to Google this eye condition the doctor had just diagnosed me with. Yes, I was willing to risk the health of my eye looking onto this small screen to avoid anymore conversations with strangers.

"Are you texting?" A guy had sat down in the general area of where dentures previously sat.

"Umm, no..I'm researching." Since when is it okay to ask a perfect stranger what they are doing with their own property?!?

"Ahh, I thought you were texting." He continued. "It's so bad. This woman was texting and driving on my way over here. Line of 20 cars behind her going 35 in a 45!"

"Yeah." I agreed. Wait, was I hallucinating this Pharmacy scenario around me and I was actually driving which is why this man felt the need to bring this to my attention? It's the only possible explanation.

"My wife is the worst driver. The one good thing about her driving is that it made me closer to God."

I snickered as I thought he was joking. He wasn't. I uncomfortably shifted back to serious face and he continued his story about his first date to a gymnastics meet with his wife. She was the stat keeper and apparently she drove. I faded in and out of listening and thankfully my name popped up and gave me an out.

I realize this makes me sound snobby and anti-social, but I'm not. I just believe there is a thing called oversharing and I was a victim of its consequences today. So next time you find yourself in a waiting room and you feel it's necessary to share with your present company your medical conditions/history or opinions on activities you see them engaging in, ask yourself the following questions. It could save you from being the subject of a blog.

1. Do I know you well enough to share this information?

2. Will this make you feel awkward?

3. Is it really the best time and place to share this information?

Making the world less awkward, one blog at a time.

Reflections on Inception.

Christopher Nolan knows me. Perhaps we met in a dream.

Not only did he put my boyfriend who just doesn't know it yet, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (or as he likes to be called, "Joe") in the suits and vests that I adore him in most, but he threw in my old classic love of Leo who only seems to become more handsome with age. In the unfortunate event that you've been asleep within your own dreams for the past month or so, I'm referring to the film 'Inception.'

Although an insomniac, when I do dream I have what most of my friends consider to be deranged dreams. To me, they've become normal. You know, the typical scenario of being chased by a family member who is shooting at you while you attempt to flee by scaling barbed wire fences, that sort of thing. Then I bleed for what seems to be forever but don't seem to die when I've lost a lot of blood. When it feels like I am losing breath and will cease to dream exist, I startle back to reality.

There it is. My peaceful room: The bookshelf overflowing with stories begging to be read, the humming of my fan that I find necessary to sleep to during the summer, and my all too comfortable bed that I could literally live in if I had the assistance of something not as gross as a bed pan to deal with that waste thing and an attractive butler to wait on all other needs.

It was just a dream.

I roll over, shut my eyes and await the next ludicrous story that awaits to meet me in my subconscious.

Now with all that insanity that stirs through my mind while I'm asleep, I have equally random thoughts when I'm functioning about the masses. Not on the level of the previous example of course or you may want to check me into a mental facility ASAP (I'd prefer the lavish one where all those stars with "addictions" go), but I think...A LOT. About life. About the what ifs. Things that I have found through conversations aren't so typical to think about while picking up your dry cleaning.

Warning: Semi-spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the movie:

When you break down the central plotline of Nolan's, it's DiCaprio trying to reach his dream...to get home. His "real" home. But the end may have you guessing, is it in fact real? No, I'm not going to stop there because this begs the question, what is real for us? Yes we have a collective reality that can be proved through facts and general observations about how the weather is or isn't behaving, but we also have individual realities. For instance, I have a habit of ignoring things or diminishing their impact until someone else confirms its occurrence. The morning of 9-11 was a clear example of this. I didn't believe it was happening even while watching live footage, because this wasn't possible...until my mom walked in and acknowledged its reality. No she wasn't chasing me and she really is a lovely woman. My dreams don't do her justice.

In opposition, some things that I may witness with other people I feel much more attached to, moved by and contemplative over because for some reason, it resonates with my reality. Just because it exists in me and not in others doesn't make it unreal, or in other words-a dream. Perhaps, this entire "Inception" contemplation is one of those things.

Usually I loathe unfinished endings that make the viewer do work in order to reach a conclusion. My reaction is usually along the lines of, "I believe I paid you to see this movie therefore I shouldn't be responsible for producing the beginning, middle, or end of it." However, given the blurry nature of the lack of lines created between dream and reality, the film's end was perfect.

Bravo, Nolan. Bravo.