The Social Network

"Socializing over the internet is what reality TV is to reality." -Aaron Sorkin

[Not real]

Is it weird that I strangely agree with Sorkin yet I am a habitual user of Facebook, Twitter and oh yeah, the blog spot? And how is communicating over the internet not real? It's happening. Just in a different space and in a different way.

This film was spectacular. I find it fascinating to follow the story of who it was that founded this pop culture phenomenon that is so heavily embedded in [500] million people's lives. And further than that, what a person is willing to do for success...even to the people closest to them. Jesse Eisenberg, I am so impressed by your portrayal of Zuckerberg. I hate you, but am simultaneously laughing with you and not at you.

Something that I struggle with is the impending question of why do we feel the need to be connected at all times? We are in a society that is positively obsessed with what other people are doing and in turn, wish to share every moment with other people. Enter Twitter.

Granted, I use Twitter. Just because I use it, doesn't mean I approve of its primary use which is for people to use it as a stream of consciousness for every moment of their lives. I use it for the occasional anecdote or funny story that I believe other people may find funny; something to brighten their day perhaps. It is still such a peculiarity that I don't quite understand. Plus, I admit that I do enjoy hearing what Steve Martin is up to.

And Facebook.

Facebook's users have made visiting the site apart of their routine.

-Wake up

-Eat breakfast

-Brush your teeth

-Check Facebook

-Update status on your mood about how you feel about said breakfast.

When I realized how embedded this was into my routine as I was reading 'The Accidental Billionaires" which Sorkin's movie is based on, I quit FB for a week. Okay, not exactly. I just limited my activity and the frequency of my updates. I wanted to see if I'd feel different. In fact, I felt better. But this absence wasn't enduring.

Just like the lure of a bad relationship, I went back.

That's my extent of involvement with social networking sites so those are the only ones I can really speak to. One thing that I think people really need to take into consideration is how they treat others when they are engrossed in their social networking world.

The Etiquette Rules:

1. If you are in the company of real live friends/people (Face-to-Face), stop incessantly texting and stop checking your facebook. It's extremely rude and impossible to have a conversation with you. It's as if to say, I'd rather be spending time with someone else (or texting in their presence instead of yours) and I am going to make that blatantly clear. I don't open up my book and start reading a chapter while I'm talking to you, do I? Hmm...maybe I'll try this in retaliation...

2. It's unnecessary and annoying when you make anonymous posts about your feelings. "ie: Man, I wish that didn't have to happen to me today!" Obviously this is an invitation for follow-up questions such as "oh no, what happened?" Save us the time and just say what it is you'd really like to share with all 400+ friends of yours. And don't respond, "I wish I could say but I can't." Really? Then don't post anything at all.

3. If you are having a phone conversation with someone, stop having ongoing conversations with everyone else around you. If you're busy, don't answer your phone or don't call me. (Not so much social networking as it is a technological pet peeve, but relevant nonetheless)

4. Don't post pictures with a caption that reads "Ugh, hate this picture of me." Really? If that were true, you probably wouldn't have opted to share that with all of your so-called friends.

It's a weird and confusing time for relationships existing and being maintained online and I feel weird being that part of the way I spend my time is based on the idea and execution of a bored college freshman.

Live from New York...it's Saturday Night?

Dear Lorne Michaels,

I have been a fan of your show since I was born. Some families have pizza Friday or Saturday movie nights, but our family's Saturday night ritual would revolve around such skits as The Delicious Dish, Mary Katherine Gallaghar, Night at the Roxbury and of course, the Spartan cheerleaders. And thanks to the advent of DVD's and internet, I was able to catch up on skits that were before my time. SNL was truly a great show.

And I don't believe the talent is gone. I'll be the first to admit that I still watch your show. Perhaps it is because I have a not-so-secret crush on Seth Meyers so I'm lured in to watch the show...at least until 'The Weekend Update.' However, while I'm watching, I'm constantly thinking, who is going to surprise us from season's past on tonight's show to make it worth watching?? Last night: Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch from previous casts and Justin Timberlake, a beloved host of SNL's present...and of course, alum Amy Poehler hosted. Toward the end of last season you also brought back most of the aforementioned women for a show and overshadowed those who are actually on your alleged present cast.

So I ask myself, when should the show just end rather than rely on talent's of SNL's ghost past? There is some good material that when executed correctly, is rather hilarious. Personally, I'm a fan of the 'Scared Straight' program, 'What up with that,' and of course 'The View' parody. Oddly enough, those all involve the humorous stylings of Keenan Thompson. Is this why you brought another black dude on cast, Lorne? The one with the over-the-top impressions of Will Smith and Chris Tucker? Spoiler Alert: He's not funny. If you think that's good, hire me. I do a damn good Oprah. That's actually funny.

You can't expect Kristen Wiig to carry the funny one handedly and Seth Meyers to carry the sex appeal (oh it's just me who finds him attractive? Nevermind then).

It's normal that after 36 years a show isn't at the level it once was...that's why most shows only last 5-9 seasons (unless you're ER, Law & Order or a Soap Opera) and you try to counter this with a changing cast. I think you need a Plan B, and not the kind that you can get at Planned Parenthood. Something needs to be done or I'll be whistling a Joy Behar sounding tune when it comes to your show--So what, who cares?

Get it done-

Teela

PS- Oh and Katy Perry for the season opener?? Really?? She should've taken a tip from Ashlee Simpson and left the vocals to a recorded mix and you should've taken a cue from 'Sesame Street' and cut. her. out. She sounded like an animal in the midst of being tortured. Truly, horrible. Not even a hot mess...just a mess.

The Buffer Zone.

This past Friday, I decided to go on a solo date to see "The Town." Being the punctual person I am, I left early to ensure I'd make it in time for the 8 o'clock showing and of course, to claim a good seat in the theater.

I got to the theater so early that I decided I could make the 7:25 instead. The ticket dude said the theater was only half full but upon closer inspection (going into the theater), found it was well over half full and I didn't think my neck would appreciate the cruel angle of the front row and I didn't want to bother anyone who had clearly gotten their early for a good seat. So being the good samaritan I am, I went to wait in the 8pm theater.

The theater was empty and I sat at the very top in the middle. Perfect. Or so I thought.

5 minutes after I claimed my seat, a girl walks up to the ENTIRE empty row and asks, "are you saving these seats?" To which I honestly reply, "no." This apparently was an invitation to sit next to me-in one seat over. "Great!" She replies. "We'll be kinda cozy!"

Well, we wouldn't be cozy if you decided to move further away from me.

5 more minutes pass and her 2 friends join her. The boy goes and sits on the other side of her and instead of following suit, the girl opts for the seat right next to me.

WTF is going on, I think. She has the whole other side with no other movie goer patrons. I'm having a 'Friends' Chandler moment. You know, where he has to hug-and-roll Janice over. She has the entire other side of the bed!! Move. Over.

She says something to her friends about having to sit directly under the projector, she's apparently OCD about it. After a few minutes, I move a seat over to give my personal bubble the air it needs and deserves. This apparently was an open invitation for said guy, to switch sides that he is sitting on to occupy my empty seat. Yes, he now is sitting right next to me. Oh, and the rest of the row is still...entirely empty. I move over another seat to reinstate the fact that I have a 1 chair rule. Did he not understand why I moved over from his friend in the first place?!

The movie theater starts to fill up. A family sits on my other side, kindly leaving a chair in between us as normal people do, and the previews start.

Now is a good time to mention that I LOVE PREVIEWS. Trailers are my fave. The music. The intensity. The little glimpses to a story that is not yet complete. It brings me indescribable joy to look forward to a flick that has not yet released.

To recap: I'm not a fan of tardiness and I love previews. Let's continue.

2 boys enter the theater and give it a once over.

Do not even think about coming up to my row.

They make their way up until the stairs run out and look over in my direction. I have them in my peripheral but am trying to appear as if my full attention is on the screen.

"Excuse me!" One of them whisper-shouts. "Is anyone sitting there?" I look around in obliviousness as if he could possibly be talking to someone else. When everyone looks right back at the solo girl in the theater, I impolitely grumble, "no."

I switch seats, next to the boy from the triad and the 2 boys sit down. New boy sitting next to me decides now is the time for a review of the movie we are about to see.

"Is this supposed to be good?" He asks. He has now displaced me from my seat (which I got their early to claim) and now he is interrupting my previews.

No idiot, I enjoy paying $10 to purposely come to the movies to see terrible films. *

"Yeah." I reply, in the most irritated voice I can possibly use. The previews continue and the 2 boys get up and leave.

I move back to my seat.

The movie has now started with an intense opening sequence. We're about 20 minutes in when I see a woman enter the theater and starts eyeing the seats. She looks in my direction. In case anyone is wondering, it's probably at least 8:45. Movie started at 8.

The bitch starts to climb the stairs.

She shuffles down the row. In front of the family. And now in front of me.

"Can you scoot down? My husband is coming too."

I didn't even respond. I angrily get up and use every nonverbal that one can possibly detect in the dark, make it my mission to show this woman how much I hate her. I heavily sigh/groan, drop into my seat and take ownership over the armrest.

Her husband comes in about 10 minutes later to which she waves some loose papers in the air to flag him down. Yes, she had papers in her lap in a dark theater. I assume that it's on these very papers where she misread the movie time. As soon as he sits down they start talking about the 10 minutes that she's seen and probably trying to piece together what they missed. When they realize they have no clue what's going on, they get up and leave.

I reclaim my chair.

I hear a faint laugh followed by a whisper, "How many times are you going to move?" Says the boy who I moved because of the 2nd time.

I shoot him a glare which he obviously can't see and redirect my attention onto Jon Hamm's beautiful face where it should be.

What can I say? I like my buffer zone.

*I actually didn't pay to see the movie as Regal had gifted me a free movie ticket per my membership and loyalty in the Regal Crown Club.

Pity Party? Not on Oprah's watch.

I am starting to become frustrated with how easily our society complains. About everything. Collectively-I'm not just pointing my little finger at you, because we all know how that pointing thing works. Three are looking right back at me.

As I'm looking forward to starting work here in a week, I am overcome with what I consider to be severe anxiety. I tend to always fill my plate to the brim at a buffet and manage to never be able to finish it all. I do the same thing in life.

This Fall term, I now have both my full-time teaching position at a university that won't be named due to public forum and my fear of stalkers, but I also took on a part-time teaching position at a community college. Teaching 6 classes is apparently much more than the 4 I was teaching before. Especially when they were all the same time duration and all the same subject at the same location. No big. I've added a different subject, 2 different textbooks (not by choice) and my classes range from 1 hour sessions to 3 hour sessions. Currently, my Monday has me teaching from 8:30AM and ending at 9:00PM at night...in a town that still fords me a delightful hour and a half commute home.

The thought alone makes me want to curl up in a ball and turn on Oprah. So that's just what I did.

Apparently Oprah's show was not inundated by the jovial demeanor of her premiere this past Monday where she'd selflessly surprised her entire studio audience with a free trip to AuuussTRAAAALLLiiiiaaaaaa!!!! And her favorite white guy John TraVOOOOlllttaaaaa, was also not there piloting the plane as we was on Monday.

Instead, 4 segments featured families/people who were suffering from the most traumatic of situations that they'd ever been in their lives:

1) 2 men held hostage just 2 weeks ago at Discovery and how they made it out alive.

2) The family of a woman who had strangled her 2 baby boys, placed them in car seats and then drove them into a river. Of course she's still alive.

3) A man who's 2 little girls and wife were murdered in front of him and he was the only who was able to escape and make it out alive.

4) The story that hits closest to home, because it's happening in my home, Kyron Horman's poor parents going on their third month of having no idea where their sweet little boy is.

These are real problems.

I turned off the set, looked next to me at my pile of textbooks and daunting computer screen with the ever-so-annoying blinking cursor. Ain't lookin so bad after all...

Really?? I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Here I am sitting in this beautiful condo with everything I could want and much more than what is necessary, stressed with the pressure of 2 jobs in an economy that has most people without employment at all. Not okay.

It's all about reframing what we might think is initially problematic or what triggers our stress-o-meter and then thinking, is this really cause for complaint? Or am I just a lucky bastard to be breathing? Sometimes it is...and I get that. But let's not let the Debbie in us get us down about things that are actually our fortunes.

Who knew I'd turn into an optimist....

Thanks Oprah.

(I was at the Academy Awards when this picture of O was taken. Another reason I can't complain. I've been to the Oscars.)

True Magic.

How is it that one of the most calming and magical experiences I have ever had occurs in the middle of one of the most chaotic cities in the world?

Saw it no less than 8 times in the 4 days I was there.

I always must wait for my song: Andrea Bocelli feat Sarah Brightman - Time to Say Goodbye. Note to those in charge of the musical score, Faith Hill-This Kiss is not acceptable for the fountain show. Or anywhere in Vegas for that matter. Stick to Sinatra, Elton, and oh yes...Bocelli.

Good thing I have good girlfriends that put up with my little obsession :)