Thoughts on Privilege: Why race STILL matters in the 21st Century.

Thanks to my wonderful employers, I had the pleasure of attending the 14th Annual White Privilege Conference that was held in Seattle this year. After three days of intense discussion about the disparities between race, sex and class, I am still digesting some of this information, but I want to share with you some of the take-aways from my workshops & speakers. But for those wondering, I should probably first define what White Privilege is and why we were there.

White Privilege: "...[T]he various ways society confers unearned social, economic and political advantages on those who are perceived to be part of the white group. This can range from social courtesies, to housing, employment, educational, and judicial decisions."

If you are white, please continue to read. This isn't a place to make you feel guilt for being born of a certain color but instead to realize that white privilege does exist and the goal of the workshop was to engage in this discussion but also offer solutions to help create a world of equity. I imagine it may be hard to digest, thinking of yourself as privileged based on one's skin tone, but it's more difficult for us that are on the receiving end of not having this innate privilege. Have you ever been followed around a store because someone suspects you'll steal? I have. When you're in said store, can you find the products that you need (hair care, food, make-up shades)? I have this struggle. Have you ever been called arguably the worst word in the human language because of the color of your skin? I have. Have you ever met a stunned person that has only conversed with you via telephone and when they meet you in the flesh their look conveys the shock of "she's b l a c k?!" I have. Because according to some, I'm an Oreo (Black on the outside, White on the inside). Or I'm "white-washed." I'm not sure which qualities make me white, but I'm interested to know. It certainly isn't my skin color.

I attended about 10 sessions, key notes included, but I just want to highlight the sessions I found most applicable in the education field as I am an educator. There were also things that related to my personal life and some things that have occurred and still are occurring.

1. Listening is Power.
The first workshop I attended was by Dr. John Igwebuike and this was a wonderful place to start the conference. For those that know me, I have a tendency to talk. I get paid for talking. He highlighted the importance and responsibility that we have to listen to one another. No, not planning what you are going to say next and gathering your language to encode that message while the other person is talking, but being fully present and listening.

We live in a society that rewards those of us who speak up and we frequently dismiss each other's ideas by way of interruption or insulating our listening (not listening to those things that we find uncomfortable or are not interested in). One of my fellow conference goers made the revelation that we aren't formally taught to use our ears. We are taught how to speak and how to use our language, but not to actively engage and listen. After all, what is our First Amendment right? Oh yeah.

It's only when we are protecting ourselves that we then mention silence: "You have the right to remain silent..." so that big mouth of yours you've been training won't get you into trouble.

Take away: "Let us acknowledge before we assert."-Dr. John Igwebuike

2. Racial Justice & Classism.
Every time we make a comment according to the following, we are judging someone by their class status:
White Trash. Trailer Trash. Ghetto. Rednecks. Elitist. Welfare mom.
We usually blame the victim for their class status and make overarching assumptions about the character of these people based on their class status: "They're poor because they're lazy."

I've heard this comment in the very recent past and it disgusts me.

Ask yourself, have you had a personal conversation with any of these people to check your perception? We need to give people the opportunity to open their mouths before we write an entire lifestyle for them and check them off as measuring up to our small-minded stereotype. Are people lazy? Sure. But let us not assume that all of any group abides to one lifestyle.

If this is how you are trained to think about all poor people, you my friend have been led astray and you are a part of the problem by victimizing them.

We can all agree that we came into this world involuntarily, right? None of us chose to be born-our parents made a choice. Are we all born in the same house? In the same neighborhoods? To the same family? No.

There is a very real difference between people having wealth in this country and people having income. Wealth is when your family possesses stocks, assets and these have had the opportunity to build overtime, leading to the ability of a family to pass money down to subsequent generations. Think to yourself: Who has had the opportunity to build wealth in this country?

Not Native Americans.
Not African-Americans.
Not Latinos.

One groups possessions were taken from them while others started out in this country as a part of a White mans' wealth; as their very property. And we are probably fully aware of the inequities that Latinos face currently.

When we discuss income we are looking at periodic payments to pay for our day-to-day living costs like your groceries, electricity, water, etc. You can certainly be rich in your lifetime, but accumulating wealth takes time. One of the examples Betsy Leondar-Wright uses for looking at the disparity is the GI Bill after WWII. Was it the White soldiers or the Black soldiers that took home money after they both fought for this same country? And who did that allow to save money for their kids' education?

On the note of education, Leondar-Wright also brought to light this shocking fact: There are more legacy students admitted to higher education institutions than there are...

a) Affirmative Action scholarships
b) Athletic Scholarships
c) Geographic Admissions

combined!!...Who has the privilege? Please, do not tell me that Affirmative Action is negative until you have looked at all those people who are simply let in because of who their great grandfather was.

Take away: Class does not equal race although sometimes, there are these very obvious connections between the conditions that some have experienced because of the way this social construct of race has perpetuated in our society.

3. N!gga/DJANGO.
This was probably the most challenging workshop I attended. Although Django was only mentioned in the title and very briefly in this room, the session still offered some very insightful techniques for us to realize our stereotypes as well as dealing with the N-word.

Dr. Eddie Moore Jr. began the session with having us all close our eyes and then told us there is a door. The door opens. Dr. Moore then told us to picture a nigger walking through the door.

What did you see?

Black. Man. Saggy pants. Gangsta. Slave. Weapon. Fear. Danger. Chains. These were some of the things our collective group of 80 or so people came up with.

Perhaps my favorite part of the session came at this point. Dr. Moore said "How many of you in here consider yourself a George Zimmerman?" People looked at their descriptors and maybe down with shame as George Zimmerman might be in all of us. He made a quick point of judgement and stereotyped this young man. We were all so quick to tweet about Trayvon and order and wear, "I am Trayvon Martin" sweatshirts," without looking to see what part of us were also George Zimmerman's.

[Deep breathe]

He later had us engage in a repeat after me exercise. "I am a nigger. You are a nigger. We are niggers." I had great difficulty with this as I can imagine some of you might no matter what color you are, so I responded to the room:

"This exercise was really hard for me, particularly saying 'I am a nigger.' Like some of the other people in this room, I've been called this and that is not who I am. Every time we repeated it and is repeated, the word stings more. Most words lose power when you repeat it, but this one doesn't take that same pattern."

Take-away: The ending of something doesn't make it all better. Ending slavery, ending Jim Crow Laws, shutting down internment camps, giving Natives land in the form of reservations, does not make it all better. It's a start, but everything doesn't get neatly swept away as if it were dust. Think of it more as flood damage that has caused pipes to burst, streets of garbage to be waded through and mold to grow in the very foundations of us.

Dr. Moore offered this metaphor: "If a parent cusses in front of their child from the time they're born for the next 20 years and on their 20th birthday decides they aren't going to cuss anymore, is this going to change what the child has heard?" This may be a positive decision, but does it erase the conditioning in that child's brain? Is that child going to magically forget how to cuss and not have that as a part of their vernacular? I can make the same metaphor to the abuse of drugs, smoking, drinking, but I think that example really vivifies a complex issue.

---
The uneducated think that our work for racial equity is done simply because we have a black (talk about the one drop rule-he is equal parts black and white) President in the White House. You are sadly mistaken. Here are some examples of blatant racism that no one can argue with, that were blasted across comment sections and message boards on our lovely internet, but there are also things said daily by people in power (Senate, House) to their boss, our commander in chief.

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"@Walken4GOP: "Why did Obama's great grandaddy cross the road? Because my great grandaddy tugged his neckchain in that direction."

@pukingvagina: "So the nigger is still living life in that big white apartment."

@KG39baseball: "The movie 2012 first New York floods and there is a nigger in office also. See a coinensadince."

Yes. A coinensadince.

@madhouse12345: "No NIGGER should lead this country. #Romney"

@madhouse12345: "Only thing black people are good at is basketball #run #shot #steal"

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I'll continue this discussion in another blog later, but this should have us all thinking. And not just thinking about it today because you read this, but look how our lives are determined by privilege of race, sex and class; arguably the most visible things to another person. We should also be thinking of our place of privilege and if we have a job we can do. When someone is being bullied, do you stand there and turn away? When someone is being mistreated, do you turn a blind eye even though your contact prescription argues that you have 20/20 vision?

Ask yourself: "My silence allows . . ." 

At the end of the day, we are all human beings, folks. Let's not forget that. We can no longer wonder why our gun crimes are so high when we have all of the information as to why. We need to treat each other with respect, like they matter, like they have blood in their body and flesh just like you, and skin just like you...it just may be a different color.

We can do better.

Note: This conference had 2,000 attendees from all over the US and I believe 21 countries. We were made up of all different skin colors with a large portion being white.

Dos.

The debut of 'OZ' was this past weekend and I hear it's all about how James Franco became the wizard of OZ. Yesterday marked my two year anniversary of when I found myself in the Emerald City as well, although not in the capacity of a wizard [some may beg to disagree and I'm okay with that]. My route didn't entail a yellow brick road, but it did involve courage, heart, smarts and the realization that there really is no place like home.

Okay, enough with the Wizard of Oz metaphor.

Moving is difficult. Especially when most of the people you care about are within a 15 mile radius of you. How conveniently spoiled I was to be able to get to one side of town to the other in 30 minutes or less in Portland "traffic." Ahh, I do miss what is considered traffic in Portland. So why remove myself from the coziest of comfort zones? I didn't move for a job, for a relationship or any concrete reason that most people that move have, except that every single day I woke up and did the same thing, I wondered what else I could be doing if I were somewhere else. After four years of feeling that way, I did something about it because pretty soon, I knew I wouldn't. 

So I did. I realized my fears that I had before moving wouldn't disappear; I'd just have to do things that challenged me which I wasn't really put in the position to do before. Here I was in a city where I had just as many friends as I had fingers [maybe less at the time], so I had to make an effort to involve myself. Or to do things alone. Not always did I want to have solo dates, which have been commonplace for me, but sometimes there wasn't an option. If I wanted to go try a new restaurant and my contact list of 5 had been exhausted, I 'd go alone. And what I realized about this is the silliness of what some of our perceptions are of being alone in public. Some people deeply fear the notion of having a sit-down meal by themselves. A book can be some of the best company [much better than someone sitting across from you that is more involved in their relationship with their Facebook application than in considering the conversation that you're having with them]. "Awkward" has become one of the most overused words in the English language. Maybe that's because we fear any scenario that is the slightest bit uncomfortable that we chalk it up with the word awkward and avoid it like Bloomberg does 16 ounce sodas. But I believe growth can come from discomfort.

One of these times I found myself in an unfamiliar environment, was when I voluntarily took a ballet class with my non-ballerina bod at 26. I hadn't taken ballet since I was probably 6 or 7. At that age you haven't developed your soccer thighs or much of any body, so it's much easier to maneuver yourself.
I had decided this class would be an excellent idea as it was marketed as an introductory ballet class, but when I walked in on the first day to a 96 pound Asian girl with her right leg held straight up in the air as her left foot rested on the ground, I knew this was anything but. This is one of those classes that people use as a 'warm-up' before their super-advanced night class, I thought. Needless to say when class started, they all broke into the "routine" while I fumbled in my new slippers I had sewn the night before and tried not to trip on any lose thread or an unexpected strap from my poor sewing job. It was an awful first day, but I went back every week to continually make a fool/improve my ballet game. By the last class that fell on my 27th birthday, I knew that damn routine.

There were actual lousy times where I had legitimate reason to be angry, like when my first apartment flooded 6 months after I moved in and I reconsidered everything. Seattle obviously hated me so much it wouldn't only rain outside, it would defy the very definition of shelter and rain inside my apartment to kick me out. Well played, Seattle. But I have more game than you and the Sounders [Go Timbers! Go Sounders? I'm so confused on my alliances].

I found a little place where I was sold by the rooftop view of the city. This is where I probably should be. And it was done. I'd found a new home and I love my little corner of the world. I love that I can greet it in the morning or evening with a skyline view or take my run down to Gasworks Park or walk somewhere for dinner or happy hour. This was the city life I had wanted.

[Home]

There are no greater messages here; no hypodermic theory that applies for all. There's nothing extraordinary about this story as I know people who have moved much further from their homes either willingly or forcefully. However, I do know that life is too short to wake up everyday with something weighing on you and consistently asking yourself "if." If you are staying a part of something for comfort and comfort only, reconsider. There is great beauty in taking risks and believing that you are awesome enough to seek and succeed in doing something new. It's even greater if you have people on your side that encourage and support [and visit!] you through a transition.

There is no place like home. And in case you hadn't noticed, Seattle can't be spelled without
'T-E-E-L-A.'

traveling strangers.

It should come as a shock to no one [even if you don't know me in the 3D experience] that I absolutely love to travel. This morning I am embarking on a journey for my 3rd time to the Sundance Film Festival which has turned into my favorite winter get-a-way. Film. Snow. Music. Cozy bars & lounges. Stories being told in the theater and in the freezing lines awaiting to become a part of a film story, while writing your own. it is all fantastic. If there ever was an element for me, this is it.

I not-so-happily got out of bed at 3:30am to make travel day happen, but my morning grumps were over by the time I found my seat in 9A. I usually refrain from talking to people on planes in fear of being poisoned by their halitosis or long monologues of their career and what number business trip this is for them this year. However, there had been some talk by the airport workers of a reroute to Redmond, OR if it was too foggy to land in Spokane. We had some laughs about how little sense that made and the pilot confirmed minutes later that those airport workers were silly and we would obviously just come back to Seattle.

Spurred by this, the short-haired brunette lady in 9B, began to talk about her annoyance with an entitled "little blonde lady with too much money who was yelling at a TSA agent" as she hated the process. And technology. Then apparently she pulled out her iPhone.

She made me laugh and she appeared to be an advocate for good dental hygiene and she didn't have a laptop lying across her lap, so I assumed we were safe.

For our short jaunt from Western to Eastern Washington, we talked about our home of Seattle, her ill-suited 25 year marriage and how that led her to living in a MIL unit with her lesbian friends that are marrying this summer, their twin sons, and her battle with cancer. "At least I got some awesome wigs out of it!" She is cancer free now and I think that's awesome.

As we parted ways she told me what I had been thinking the whole time. "You know, I usually avoid talking to people on planes and usually just read whatever is on this," she said as she held up her Kindle. I looked down at my lap where my book was waiting to do the very same thing. "I really enjoyed talking to you today and I hope you have an amazing trip to Sundance and whatever other adventures you find yourself on." I told her I hope she makes it to Carnival in Brazil next year with her girlfriends.

I walked through the Spokane terminal and browsed through some titles of books I had no intention of buying and instead invested in my hydration, with a water. My clerk, a 58ish year old man asked to see my ID in compliance with my written request on my debit card. "What a great picture. But it doesn't do justice to the woman standing in front of me." Let me revisit the time I woke up and how awesome an unexpected comment like that can make a person feel while traveling. I black-girl-blushed by the sweet grandpa comment and told him how kind he was to have said that.

I hope you find yourself in your element on a fun adventure in the near future. And I hope you find some strangers that aren't egomaniacs and attend to their dental health.

'Girls' isn't racist. But Rupert Murdoch might be.

I get that things will not always go my way. I'm a firm believer in temporarily venting these frustrations and disappointments out to my friends that willingly listen [THANK YOU], writing it down, and moving on in hopes of creating a better scenario later. Not that everything is within the locust of our control [something else I'm slowly but surely realizing], but we can choose how we react.

I am not a fan of people that complain about their circumstances incessantly when for the most part, their existence is not worth complaining about. And what further gets under my bitten nails (or acrylic, really depends on the day), is when people do nothing productive to create a new reality. This is one of the reasons the 'May Day' protesters in Seattle particularly irritated me. Destroying the property of someone else's while wearing their brand is probably not the wisest decision. And if you can afford the shoes of the storefront in which you are currently destroying, my sympathies do not lie with you.

This issue is a bit of a side note [shocker], as my main purpose was to address the issue of a few black folks criticizing the new HBO show "Girls." Lena Dunham, the show's creator, head writer and lead actress, is a white woman in her mid-twenties. Her show "Girls" takes place in Williamsburg in the borough of Brooklyn, NY and in the THREE episodes that have been aired, follow the happenings of her and her three friends whom are also white.

I like the show. Correction, I have loved the first three episodes. As a woman in her mid-twenties, errr late twenties, I can still relate to aspects of the characters. Am I white? No. Do I live in New York? No.

Following the airing of the second episode, there were numerous op-ed columns devoted to ripping Dunham apart. "Why are there no black characters? It's in New York, after all, the most diverse city in the United States! We have a black president, haven't we evolved?!" Ugh. Give me a break.

How many shows have come before Dunham who have aired much more than 3 episodes that consisted of casts of predominantly white people? Friends (10 seasons). Seinfeld (9 seasons). HBO's own, Sex and The City (6 seasons) and Entourage (8 seasons). How I Met Your Mother (still airing; tell us who the damn mom is already). Yes, these shows have had black characters, but never apart of the staple foursome or sixsome that are the consistent make up of the show.

I get it. People want to watch people who look like them and have similar experiences. They want to relate. As I've mentioned, I can relate to what are white characters. I also can relate to black characters and often remember watching shows like, "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and "The Cosby Show" and thinking that they resembled my family. Were my parents doctors and lawyers and made of wealth? No. Did we live in a rich suburb of LA or a brownstone in Brooklyn? No.

What I'll admit...

It is annoying when you only see stereotypical portrayals of your race on television. As the homeless man, the prostitute woman, the thug with no father figure who thinks there are no other options but selling heroin. The reason for these stereotypical and frequent portrayals is because of who owns the media. 70% of our media is made up by about 6 companies: Disney, News Corporation, Time Warner, NBC Universal, Viacom and CBS Corporation. Within these companies comes 90% of our television programming (news and entertainment). Who do you think owns these companies?

I met the former CEO of Time Warner while in college and he was a black man. At that time, they fully owned the CW or what used to be called the WB. And guess what was on? Sister, Sister. Smart Guy. Shows with black people. But when Rupert Murdoch owns Fox, don't be surprised that the only black girl on "Glee" is sassy, sports large gold bling around her neck that reads 'Foxy,' is the best singer in the cast, and is full-figured. Or that the Asian girl has different color streaks in her hair from week-to-week and is dating the only other Asian character on the show who is a phenomenal break dancer.

It does disappoint me that our perspective is so limited because of who is control and decides what is worthy of television. It also disappoints me when a student raises his hand in class and says, "Well, there is BET." Oh my. PS - Guess who owns BET? The same fools that allow "Jersey Shore" to air, as MTV, MTV2, VH1, CMT and BET are all owned by Viacom.

What I know...


Race isn't the only way we connect and relate with one another. And on the contrary, I often watch shows in which I have absolutely nothing at all in common with the characters. I love "Dexter" and you'll be happy to know that I'm not a serial killer. "Breaking Bad" is one of my addictions, but I don't share the plot line addiction of doing or cooking meth. And "True Blood?" My girlfriends and I used to plan Sunday dinners around this show and none of us will melt in the sun's light. I also DVR "The View" on the regular and I have absolutely nothing in common with Sherri Shepherd, except the fact that we are both...black.

If you want your story told, share it. WRITE IT. Pitch it. But don't pick on a 24 year old woman for honestly telling her own in a clever, funny and relatable way. Don't expect someone else to write what your experience is and is perhaps something that they have no real knowledge about. That's where stereotypes are created, where they grow and where they get comfy cozy and manifest itself within our popular culture.

But this is only my humble opinion. And contrary to popular belief, I am not speaking for all of "us."

Thankful for these givings.

In no particular order...(but sort of..mostly the Top 5).

15. Lists.

"To-Dos," "Bucket" or "Favorites." It really helps prioritize my life.

14. 'Really?'

It makes discussing the nonsensical so much more fun. For instance...

13. GOP Presidential Debates.

For allowing me to use #14 frequently.

-"Libya...Libya...?"

-"I can't remember the third...Ooops."

Not knowing geography in general. Like that Africa is indeed a continent, not a country. Come on! (said in the stylings of Gob Bluth)

12. Scarves.

I have hangers that have lost their lives to my little obsession, but can't stop, won't stop.

11. Phone calls.

I know, I know, what is this, 1990? Remember when it was such a big deal to make a 3-way call? Now we just "cc:" each other on email. Booooring.

I love a good phone call. From the sound of the personalized ringtone I've chosen for the selected people that actually call me, to actually hearing someone's voice and laughter as we share the insanity of the daily.

10. Hazelnut Hot Chocolate.

Subconsciously, I think it's because the Hazelnut is Oregon's state nut. Consciously, it's liquid love.

9. My job.

Although it might not be the final career for me (mostly because I hyperventilate at the word 'career' as that's something adults have which I can't possibly be), I have to admit, it's pretty cool to teach college kids. Which brings me to...

8. My Students.

I had the stark realization last week that I have the pleasure of conversing and working with people from roughly 10 different countries on a daily basis. Not just their countries of origin, but immigrants of this generation. Russian, Ukranian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, African (Kenya, Sierra Leone, Nigeria), Iraqi, etc. I have two students who actually fled Iraq at the beginning of the war, watched family members being murdered before them, and were forced out of their country because of their religious beliefs. And they're still standing and getting an education...from me. I feel like they could teach me (and are) even more.

7. Meeting good people.

I try...I mean really try to be optimistic and see the goodness in strangers and people in general. Then "they" or someone does something douchey to taint my hope. Then you meet a new somebody that really restores your belief that there are people still left worth meeting.

6. Flannel sheets.

Even though sleep and I have nightly disagreements, there is not a more comfortable place to struggle in.

5. Semi-Independence.

This past weekend I had an autonomous Saturday. I went to a book signing for my beloved Mindy Kaling and by nightfall, went to a comedic benefit for the Mona Foundation featuring Rainn Wilson, Mindy Kaling, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. I hang out by myself all the time (See #2, I do indeed have friends)...movies, coffee shops, lunch dates, exploring a new part of town, etc. but this was semi new territory.

For some reason we tend to be ultra self-conscious when we venture out alone (sadly some people avoid the public all together if they can't find a boyfriend in time for the wedding or friend to drag to a concert).

However when you're out with other people, you don't find yourself consumed by noticing and identifying other people for being alone. You stare and notice them if they're good looking or not. Or have on a super cute scarf or shoes.

4. Sense of Direction.

As I was driving toward Portland for the holiday, I began to contemplate various routes that would take me to my dad's house, depending on traffic. I've just begun to have this same type of comfort in my new home, Seattle, where I now know various routes through trial and error, that will take me home. It feels good to silence the navigation system.

3. Literacy.

I got frustrated the other day when I missed my exit due to inattention and some pretty serious car singing, and then thought, what would it be like to miss my exit because I couldn't understand the signs? Which led me to wondering this same concept while walking down the aisles of the grocery store 10 minutes later. Which led me to continue wondering this as I sat down that evening to indulge in my favorite pastime; reading for pleasure. How lucky I am to be born where I was, with the people I was born unto, and have the public education I did.

2. Friends.

My expectations of a friend are high and I expect the same of myself to my friends. This might be the reason I constantly struggle with having 450+ Facebook "friends" because I carry great weight with that word and it's impossible for me to be that person to 450 people. So for the ones whom I share real phone calls, dinner dates, travel adventures, or can do close to nothing and wake up sore in the abs from laughter, I'm so thankful for you. You really can't imagine how much. You're the family I choose.

1. Family.

I've always felt bad for people who loathe hanging out with their family, because I love hanging out with mine. And right when I think I realize how much I am loved by them, they show me a new way. I'm nothing without their love.

So as you sit down at the kids' table, in front of the TV or in a restaurant on this holiday, let us not celebrate Thanksgiving in the way of the first:

"I celebrated Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."

-Jon Stewart

Instead, bathe in wherever it is you find your love.

Unrelentless Love.

Fallabulous

This past month has been completely and utterly wonderful. Busy and stressful, but mostly wonderful.

...I had the sincere pleasure & honor of standing next to one of my lifetime girlfriends as she said her I do's to her guy in the most glamorous affair.

...I went to NYC to visit a couple of my fabulous girlfriends from college.

...I moved.

Oh, it should be noted that all of these events transpired within 10 days time. I'm pooped but still relishing in each moment and reliving them through pictures.

The Snellebration.

One of my favorite girlfriends said 'I do' to her guy and became a Snell on 9.10.11. Even though she's been with him for 5 years, it's still a bit surreal to me that it finally happened. When the name change was made official by ways of Facebook (forget the law, FB is really where it really matters, right?), I thought I had accidentally accepted a friend request of some distant classmate from high school as I had a lapse in putting 2 & 2 together. Like I said, it's been a crazy past week & a half.

[right before THE moment in the green room]

Everything was spectacular. She transformed this space at the Gerding Theater into an absolutely gorgeous wedding, which was expected, as she has no limits to the imagination and can create anything. This wedding was made even more special by the fact that most of the wedding party have been friends since childhood. Mrs. Snell, if one day someone is brave enough to enter the bonds of holy matrimony with me, guess who will be called upon to plan it?

[at the rehearsal dinner]

There was dancing.

There was the red velvet cake from heaven.

There was the teaching of the dougie.

And to the couple's surprise/enjoyment/shock, a few of us in the wedding party serenaded the couple with a karaoke sing along of 'Don't Stop Believing.' Yes, you most definitely do want me at your wedding.

The Empire State.

To say that New York is one of my favorite places is an understatement. I absolutely am infatuated with this city. I say infatuation instead of love as I don't think New York loves anyone back in the same way we adore her yet we keep coming back for more. She can be cruel and abrasive to her residents and visitors, but at other times, can be surprisingly kind. Hmm, so maybe in fact it is love after all.

Since I've been to New York a handful of times before this trip (literally a handful-5), I didn't have much tourist ground to cover and wanted to focus on the theater. My friend Carey and I have a shared affinity for musicals and because she loves me so, she even agreed to go see "Spiderman: Turn off the Dark" due to (a) my love for superheroes and (b) my obsession love for the actor portraying Spiderman, Reeve Carney. Note: The picture I've included doesn't quite do justice to him. You must hear his voice and then you'll understand. With my luck he's probably gay. And yes, his sexual preference is obviously the only thing standing between us being together.

[Throwin our webs; Reeve Carney AKA Spidey & me!]

The show did not disappoint. It was Cirque du Soleil meets Broadway. After seeing it, you understand why so many were injured in creating this blissful piece of art. It's intense. At one point, I jumped as the Green Goblin came soaring at me in the audience right before Spiderman jumped on his back and takes the villain down. Spoiler alert. I'm certain Carey has bruises on her forearm from my incessant grabbing and loud whispers of excitement. It was that awesome.

We also spent an evening at the Imperial Theater at "Billy Elliot." If you want to feel as if you have accomplished nothing by your late twenties or whatever age you are currently occupying, go see this show because these nine, ten, and eleven year olds will make you feel inadequate. Or at least will give you that invigorating feeling of fearlessness that allows you to take risks and believe anything is attainable. At their age I was proud to be reading a few grade levels ahead and being semi-good at running around on a field chasing a black and white ball. One of these kids was this adorable actor who played Michael. He must've been about 9 and was already a fantastic actor and tap dancer. We watched as he exited the stage door after the show, waved to a few of his adoring and age-appropriate fans (Carey and I would probably not be included in this category), reached up for his mom's hand and walked anonymously home. It warmed my heart. To be nine and already on Broadway. How fabulous.

We also took a trip to a free fashion exhibit at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) of a collection of Daphne Guinness' (heiress to Guinness) personal pieces, spent a night in the Lower Eastside with co-eds that made us feel much older than we are, celebrated a bachelorette party in SoHo, and enjoyed a Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity. Wondering what Fro-Hot-Choc is? It's a really good Chocolate milkshake with little ice shavings in it, covered in a blanket of homemade whipped cream.

[the menus here were astronomical. I feel like everything about this place was inspired by Lewis Carroll as you were meant to feel a bit small with the portion sizes]

[Gracie & me on the LES]

However, our very first stop of the weekend was an emotional visit to Ground Zero where 3 days earlier we had marked the ten-year anniversary of 9.11. It breaks my heart, but I visit every trip I take to New York. It is indescribably humbling and incredibly sad to walk on this street where so many suffered, but I think it is important to mourn and celebrate these heroes.

[Memorial across the street from Ground Zero & The Freedom Tower]

The move.

I returned from NYC on Monday evening, moved Tuesday morning, and here I sit Wednesday night/Thursday morning writing from my new digs in Wallingford. I've unpacked every box within 24 hours and just have a few more things to place, nail and hang along with a [very] large trip to Goodwill and the recycling bin. It's starting to feel like home.

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After any big event or vacation, I find myself in a slight funk from being overstimulated and dropping from 150 to zero. In this case, I had been at about a 300. I missed my friends. I missed the city. So yesterday evening I took about 30 minutes to breathe and to allow myself to absorb all of the goodness of this last week and a half. I did this from my new rooftop with a cup of coffee and this breathtaking 360-view of a twilight Seattle. That did it.

And it's now officially fall. Which is my favorite.

are you RECording?

'The universe isn't made of atoms. It's made of tiny stories.' -anon.

For every stressful thing that happens in my life (see previous blog) it contributes to an entertaining story which I then share with you. We constantly are relaying these inconsequential things to our friends and sometimes even strangers while waiting in lines, sitting at the doctor's office, and in the airport. I've had people at these very locations do their fair share of oversharing. No, I do not need the details of your current diagnosis and medical history and no it is not okay to set me up with another random stranger you just met in the terminal that lives in a different state just because we're both single.

Stories. Aren't they fun? And oh-so-much more entertaining to talk about than whether the sun has made an appearance today or not. There are better things to talk about. And that's where Joseph Gordon-Levitt comes in.

Last week, I had the wonderful pleasure of seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt LIVE. I love this guy. I almost spoke with him after getting within 5 feet of him at Sundance in 2010, then chickened out on saying hi.

JGL was in Seattle promoting his site hitRECord. Promoting isn't the correct word to use as that has a self-indulging ring to it and the site itself is anything but. hitRECord is a collaborative site for artists. Everyone can play.

You can write something.

You can photograph something.

You can film something.

You can d-r-a-w something.

You can siiiiing something.

Then you upload.

Once you upload your original work to this site, all its other members can edit it, while giving you credit for your contribution. If anything stellar is created and can be sold, guess who the profits go to? You. Well, if you contributed.

So if you were to write something, someone could create a short film from this story line. If you filmed something, someone could lay music over it. If you sing something, someone could create a duet. There are google amount of possibilities.

For example, he made this RECord, live in front of the audience here in Seattle. Someone read a story that someone else had written, which someone else laid their music over, which then JGL interpreted using just facial expressions. It's now on the site. You should really check it out to have your mind blown by how great 7 minds are over 6.

And 8 over 7.

And 9 over those 8.

Then it becomes our story.

Are you telling your story?

Visit hitrecord