The Social Scientist: Looking at Nonverbals, The Media & Trayvon Martin

For anyone that has ever studied Nonverbal Communication, you know that it is theorized within the social scientist community that Nonverbals make up 75%-93% of the meaning we derive from any message exchange with another person. To clarify, when I use the term Nonverbal, I am referring to anything that is not verbal (words) communication. This is from the tone, volume, pitch and inflection of your voice, to your eye behavior, to the clothes you wear, your facial expressions and the way you look. Think about the "look" your mom would give you and you knew you were in trouble. She didn't have to say anything, but you just turned around and went to complete whatever task you knew you were supposed to.

That's the power of Nonverbals.

So it shouldn't come to much of a surprise that this number we attribute to the importance of Nonverbals is so large; we have one mouth but TEN Nonverbal channels for people to create meaning from.

It is also fact that (if we are blessed with the gift of sight) the first thing we notice about another person is their appearance. And what are the two things we first notice? Race and Sex.

I know. People think that they are transcending the times when they say, "I don't notice your race at all!" I hate it when people say this to me because it's simply not true and that is offensive. That means you are blatantly ignoring something I am covered in and that this has nothing to do with my identity and who I am. I love my skin and I don't want it to be ignored. I also don't want it to be the reason that I appear to be threatening. Our appearances can also work against us and whether they want to talk about it in a courtroom, this is the what happened to Trayvon Martin.

ANYONE that says, "race did not play a role in Zimmerman murdering Trayvon," has been separated from this society we live in. Maybe you live in a community where you only interact with people that are the same color, wear the same clothes, act like you and you don't watch any television, read any newspapers, or books. So given that, maybe you are Amish and therefore, you have been severed from the greater world and a nonparticipant in the forming of stereotypes of other people.

But let's assume for the next few paragraphs that you do watch movies, the news, or television. You will see that the media creates and reinforces certain perceptions of people based on their race, hair color, religious affiliation, etc. When we are shown a minority group in the same role over-and-over-and-over in the media but have no real interaction with that group, a stereotype is being created and reinforced. So when we happen to actually run into a person that fits that group, guess what our perception of that person will be if that's all we "know?"

For example, the media shows Mormons as being fundamentalists and having multiple wives in the two popular shows that portray Mormons; "Sister Wives" and "Big Love." One of these is also a "reality show" so of course that's how all Mormons live, right?

Let's look at Black men. Most Black men are shown in a criminal or law breaking role, speaking in ebonics, and they're only made successful by athletic ability or for their musical talent (thanks, BET). When we do see them in a role as something else, we usually count it as the exception to our stereotypical rule of thumb.

On the other hand, when we are confronted with a race that is shown in a variety of roles, it is much more difficult, if impossible, to stereotype them. How would you stereotype a White man? Take a minute and really explore what you could say about ALL White men that you see reiterated in the shows you watch, books you read, news you hear and movies you go to. This task was probably a bit more difficult if impossible for you to do. That's because our media is littered with representations of the White male. You can turn to AMC and see him as a maker of methamphetamine, then to NBC and see him sitting at the nightly news desk, then back to AMC and see him as the guy-in-charge at an ad agency, then to Showtime as a serial killer, wait an hour, and see him on the same network as a secret agent, and then to MTV to show him as a party guy/jock. So when I watch Jon Stewart, I don't think of him as a cook of methamphetamine, but a hilarious and credible fake news guy that I consider to be my TV husband. Do I want Walter White to be my TV husband? Well, maybe in his (Bryan Cranston) role on 'Malcolm in the Middle.' [See??]

I wouldn't call myself an expert per se on Nonverbals or Stereotypes, but I would credit myself as an expert in progress. I study this stuff, I teach this stuff and I am constantly thinking about this stuff as I apply it to everything I consume and draw these connections. I surely thought about it before the tragic day where a grown man saw a Black Kid in a hoodie and decided that was reason enough to follow him, despite the fact that there was no weapon in hand, unless you feared a Skittles attack. Tell me: Why else would Zimmerman consider Trayvon a threat if it weren't for his sex and skin color? I bet if I had been walking down the street dressed the same, I wouldn't have warranted the same suspicion. I'm black, but I'm also a female. Due to Black female stereotypes, I'm allowed to be loud and obnoxious, but I'm only a threat if you are trying to 'get with my man.'

Unfortunately, if I ever have a son, he will be considered black no matter what half his other is. Look at President Obama. And unfortunately, as long as the media shows that a Black man is to be feared, my child could be perceived in this same way. So this isn't a distant story I can ignore because it happened in Florida (although it's safe to say, I will never live in Florida), because this could just as easily be my story.

Nonverbals are powerful. And what we see on a daily basis creates our long withstanding perceptions of how we view the world. "We see things not as they are, but how WE are." Zimmerman didn't see Trayvon for what he was on that evening; a kid getting a snack from the store. He saw him as a scary black man.

I want to end on an exercise that I recently referenced in my last blog that I was challenged to do at a conference back in April:

Dr. Eddie Moore Jr. began the session with having us all close our eyes and then told us there is a door. The door opens. Dr. Moore then told us to picture a nigger walking through the door.

What did you see?

Black. Man. Saggy pants. Gangsta. Weapon. Fear. Danger. Chains. These were some of the things our collective group of 80 or so [Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Native) people came up with.

Perhaps my favorite part of the session came at this point. Dr. Moore said "How many of you in here consider yourself a George Zimmerman?" People looked at their descriptors and maybe down with shame as George Zimmerman might be in all of us. "He made a quick point of judgement and stereotyped this young man. We were all so quick to tweet about Trayvon and order and wear, 'I am Trayvon Martin" sweatshirts,' without looking to see what part of us were also George Zimmerman's."

'Girls' isn't racist. But Rupert Murdoch might be.

I get that things will not always go my way. I'm a firm believer in temporarily venting these frustrations and disappointments out to my friends that willingly listen [THANK YOU], writing it down, and moving on in hopes of creating a better scenario later. Not that everything is within the locust of our control [something else I'm slowly but surely realizing], but we can choose how we react.

I am not a fan of people that complain about their circumstances incessantly when for the most part, their existence is not worth complaining about. And what further gets under my bitten nails (or acrylic, really depends on the day), is when people do nothing productive to create a new reality. This is one of the reasons the 'May Day' protesters in Seattle particularly irritated me. Destroying the property of someone else's while wearing their brand is probably not the wisest decision. And if you can afford the shoes of the storefront in which you are currently destroying, my sympathies do not lie with you.

This issue is a bit of a side note [shocker], as my main purpose was to address the issue of a few black folks criticizing the new HBO show "Girls." Lena Dunham, the show's creator, head writer and lead actress, is a white woman in her mid-twenties. Her show "Girls" takes place in Williamsburg in the borough of Brooklyn, NY and in the THREE episodes that have been aired, follow the happenings of her and her three friends whom are also white.

I like the show. Correction, I have loved the first three episodes. As a woman in her mid-twenties, errr late twenties, I can still relate to aspects of the characters. Am I white? No. Do I live in New York? No.

Following the airing of the second episode, there were numerous op-ed columns devoted to ripping Dunham apart. "Why are there no black characters? It's in New York, after all, the most diverse city in the United States! We have a black president, haven't we evolved?!" Ugh. Give me a break.

How many shows have come before Dunham who have aired much more than 3 episodes that consisted of casts of predominantly white people? Friends (10 seasons). Seinfeld (9 seasons). HBO's own, Sex and The City (6 seasons) and Entourage (8 seasons). How I Met Your Mother (still airing; tell us who the damn mom is already). Yes, these shows have had black characters, but never apart of the staple foursome or sixsome that are the consistent make up of the show.

I get it. People want to watch people who look like them and have similar experiences. They want to relate. As I've mentioned, I can relate to what are white characters. I also can relate to black characters and often remember watching shows like, "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and "The Cosby Show" and thinking that they resembled my family. Were my parents doctors and lawyers and made of wealth? No. Did we live in a rich suburb of LA or a brownstone in Brooklyn? No.

What I'll admit...

It is annoying when you only see stereotypical portrayals of your race on television. As the homeless man, the prostitute woman, the thug with no father figure who thinks there are no other options but selling heroin. The reason for these stereotypical and frequent portrayals is because of who owns the media. 70% of our media is made up by about 6 companies: Disney, News Corporation, Time Warner, NBC Universal, Viacom and CBS Corporation. Within these companies comes 90% of our television programming (news and entertainment). Who do you think owns these companies?

I met the former CEO of Time Warner while in college and he was a black man. At that time, they fully owned the CW or what used to be called the WB. And guess what was on? Sister, Sister. Smart Guy. Shows with black people. But when Rupert Murdoch owns Fox, don't be surprised that the only black girl on "Glee" is sassy, sports large gold bling around her neck that reads 'Foxy,' is the best singer in the cast, and is full-figured. Or that the Asian girl has different color streaks in her hair from week-to-week and is dating the only other Asian character on the show who is a phenomenal break dancer.

It does disappoint me that our perspective is so limited because of who is control and decides what is worthy of television. It also disappoints me when a student raises his hand in class and says, "Well, there is BET." Oh my. PS - Guess who owns BET? The same fools that allow "Jersey Shore" to air, as MTV, MTV2, VH1, CMT and BET are all owned by Viacom.

What I know...


Race isn't the only way we connect and relate with one another. And on the contrary, I often watch shows in which I have absolutely nothing at all in common with the characters. I love "Dexter" and you'll be happy to know that I'm not a serial killer. "Breaking Bad" is one of my addictions, but I don't share the plot line addiction of doing or cooking meth. And "True Blood?" My girlfriends and I used to plan Sunday dinners around this show and none of us will melt in the sun's light. I also DVR "The View" on the regular and I have absolutely nothing in common with Sherri Shepherd, except the fact that we are both...black.

If you want your story told, share it. WRITE IT. Pitch it. But don't pick on a 24 year old woman for honestly telling her own in a clever, funny and relatable way. Don't expect someone else to write what your experience is and is perhaps something that they have no real knowledge about. That's where stereotypes are created, where they grow and where they get comfy cozy and manifest itself within our popular culture.

But this is only my humble opinion. And contrary to popular belief, I am not speaking for all of "us."

Why Tyler Perry isn't Funny

I have a long standing disdain for Mr. Perry. Simply put, he's not funny and it continues to baffle me that he has such a following and is making so much cash over dressing in drag as an elderly black woman while perpetuating racial stereotypes.

Before I continue it must be noted that I like racial humor. Like is an understatement. I LOVE racial humor. I devoted an entire year researching and analyzing it and was able to snag myself a Masters because of it. The difference between what I researched and what Tyler Perry creates is that he isn't funny.

Humor is obviously subjective. I appreciate when comedians who use racial humor point out the ludicrous nature of stereotypes in clever ways or use self-deprecating humor to make light of a discussion of an otherwise difficult to discuss topic. Of course we have some of those 'it's-funny-because-it's-true' moments, but the overall purpose of racial humor is to shed light on topics that we don't necessarily talk about around the water cooler because we are terrified at the possibility of offending someone and coming off as racist.

I like the dark, non-laugh track, intuitive humor that makes me think about a joke further. I realize that not everyone is like this but when you are the creator of racial humor, I think it is your responsibility to not make buffoon caricatures based on race. Why? Because people that have limited to no experience with that group of people will begin to sketch a picture in their mind that represents what they believe that group of people to be like. Unfortunately, a lot of minority groups haven't been traditionally cast in a variety of roles. On the contrary, we can see a white male playing many different parts and therefore, it is much more difficult to categorize them as representing just one thing. You can turn on Showtime and see him as a serial killer; flip to NBC and see him as a stay-at-home dad; change over to ABC and see him as a lawyer; finishing off the night by spending an hour on AMC and see him as an ad man. Or a maker of methamphetamines.

When you lack this variety, it's very easy to create stereotypes and I believe Tyler Perry to be a master of this. Just turn to TBS. I think he does his entire race a disservice when he continually puts a certain number of unchanging characters in his casts.

Why the Cosby show was revolutionary in the 1980's was because here we finally saw a well to do black family where Claire and Cliff were working as a lawyer and doctor respectively, while successfully raising their large family. Their kids were even going to college. It gave America a new perception of the black family. And guess what? It was still funny.

Tyler Perry, you've set us back. Take notes from the 1980's and maybe you can start moving forward in 2012. Preferably off any TV or movie screen. To that, I would say 'hallelujer.'

The student becomes the teacher.

I often talk about the humorous shortcomings of my students. And why not? They're such an easy target and they say the darndest thing (although in a much more irritating and not in the cute funny way in which a 3 year old does). I don't usually give enough credit to the ones who inspire me and who want to learn...which is the reason I do my job. I would have to love it for how much time I spend commuting to and fro.

One of the classes I teach is Interpersonal communication where a chapter is devoted to the sense of self and the development of the self. Some people think that this sounds like cheese whiz and is an easy feat, but self-discovery is one of the hardest tasks known to persons. Why do you think our self-help aisle is filled to the brim? Or that there are professions geared completely toward helping people figure themselves out?

In an activity we did the other day, students had to identify their self-concept (who they think they are) along with identifying stereotypes that they believe or have experienced people placing on them. And what an intense and enlightening time for me as the teacher.

Some of these stereotypes were as follows:

From a Muslim student: Terrorist.

From a Hispanic student: Illegal Immigrant with a coinciding picture of handcuffs.

From a tattooed Caucasian student: Scary, intimidating.

From an African-American student: Only in college by way of Athletic scholarship.

From an overweight student: Pig.

How quick we are to judge another based solely on what it is they appear to be to us on this outside shell without so much as even opening their mouth. When they talked about these stereotypes placed upon them based on these characteristics (some innate), they identified feeling pain and being discriminated against. In diverse groups this was even more interesting as you could see color run away from people's faces as they may have (may still) hold that stereotype. But being faced with the testimony of a person on the other side of such a hurtful assumption is a tough liquid gel tab to swallow (I have trouble with these all the time. And they make me queasy). It was not an easy activity on either side by any means and I found myself almost getting choked up listening to their stories.

We are all but a collection of blood, bone, muscle, fat, skin, and all that other gross stuff that I turn away from on TLC. We are compiled of the same material. All human. How dare we let television shows and biased media shape our perspective on what all people of a certain group are without ever getting the chance to know them.

Tyler Perry-I have no Madea character in my family. And our family isn't as corny and unoriginal as 'House of Payne.' Watching that show is even worse than taking a gel tab.

Oh and that Muslim girl? 17 year old college freshman, not a terrorist.

The Hispanic guy? First generation college student.

The African-American guy? He got into college on his own merit and is trying out for the basketball team.

How have we misjudged you?

Oh, and just so you don't think I've lost my sense of good-natured humor, I "learned" a new vocabulary word today from one of my students: Symblify.