The Social Scientist: Looking at Nonverbals, The Media & Trayvon Martin

For anyone that has ever studied Nonverbal Communication, you know that it is theorized within the social scientist community that Nonverbals make up 75%-93% of the meaning we derive from any message exchange with another person. To clarify, when I use the term Nonverbal, I am referring to anything that is not verbal (words) communication. This is from the tone, volume, pitch and inflection of your voice, to your eye behavior, to the clothes you wear, your facial expressions and the way you look. Think about the "look" your mom would give you and you knew you were in trouble. She didn't have to say anything, but you just turned around and went to complete whatever task you knew you were supposed to.

That's the power of Nonverbals.

So it shouldn't come to much of a surprise that this number we attribute to the importance of Nonverbals is so large; we have one mouth but TEN Nonverbal channels for people to create meaning from.

It is also fact that (if we are blessed with the gift of sight) the first thing we notice about another person is their appearance. And what are the two things we first notice? Race and Sex.

I know. People think that they are transcending the times when they say, "I don't notice your race at all!" I hate it when people say this to me because it's simply not true and that is offensive. That means you are blatantly ignoring something I am covered in and that this has nothing to do with my identity and who I am. I love my skin and I don't want it to be ignored. I also don't want it to be the reason that I appear to be threatening. Our appearances can also work against us and whether they want to talk about it in a courtroom, this is the what happened to Trayvon Martin.

ANYONE that says, "race did not play a role in Zimmerman murdering Trayvon," has been separated from this society we live in. Maybe you live in a community where you only interact with people that are the same color, wear the same clothes, act like you and you don't watch any television, read any newspapers, or books. So given that, maybe you are Amish and therefore, you have been severed from the greater world and a nonparticipant in the forming of stereotypes of other people.

But let's assume for the next few paragraphs that you do watch movies, the news, or television. You will see that the media creates and reinforces certain perceptions of people based on their race, hair color, religious affiliation, etc. When we are shown a minority group in the same role over-and-over-and-over in the media but have no real interaction with that group, a stereotype is being created and reinforced. So when we happen to actually run into a person that fits that group, guess what our perception of that person will be if that's all we "know?"

For example, the media shows Mormons as being fundamentalists and having multiple wives in the two popular shows that portray Mormons; "Sister Wives" and "Big Love." One of these is also a "reality show" so of course that's how all Mormons live, right?

Let's look at Black men. Most Black men are shown in a criminal or law breaking role, speaking in ebonics, and they're only made successful by athletic ability or for their musical talent (thanks, BET). When we do see them in a role as something else, we usually count it as the exception to our stereotypical rule of thumb.

On the other hand, when we are confronted with a race that is shown in a variety of roles, it is much more difficult, if impossible, to stereotype them. How would you stereotype a White man? Take a minute and really explore what you could say about ALL White men that you see reiterated in the shows you watch, books you read, news you hear and movies you go to. This task was probably a bit more difficult if impossible for you to do. That's because our media is littered with representations of the White male. You can turn to AMC and see him as a maker of methamphetamine, then to NBC and see him sitting at the nightly news desk, then back to AMC and see him as the guy-in-charge at an ad agency, then to Showtime as a serial killer, wait an hour, and see him on the same network as a secret agent, and then to MTV to show him as a party guy/jock. So when I watch Jon Stewart, I don't think of him as a cook of methamphetamine, but a hilarious and credible fake news guy that I consider to be my TV husband. Do I want Walter White to be my TV husband? Well, maybe in his (Bryan Cranston) role on 'Malcolm in the Middle.' [See??]

I wouldn't call myself an expert per se on Nonverbals or Stereotypes, but I would credit myself as an expert in progress. I study this stuff, I teach this stuff and I am constantly thinking about this stuff as I apply it to everything I consume and draw these connections. I surely thought about it before the tragic day where a grown man saw a Black Kid in a hoodie and decided that was reason enough to follow him, despite the fact that there was no weapon in hand, unless you feared a Skittles attack. Tell me: Why else would Zimmerman consider Trayvon a threat if it weren't for his sex and skin color? I bet if I had been walking down the street dressed the same, I wouldn't have warranted the same suspicion. I'm black, but I'm also a female. Due to Black female stereotypes, I'm allowed to be loud and obnoxious, but I'm only a threat if you are trying to 'get with my man.'

Unfortunately, if I ever have a son, he will be considered black no matter what half his other is. Look at President Obama. And unfortunately, as long as the media shows that a Black man is to be feared, my child could be perceived in this same way. So this isn't a distant story I can ignore because it happened in Florida (although it's safe to say, I will never live in Florida), because this could just as easily be my story.

Nonverbals are powerful. And what we see on a daily basis creates our long withstanding perceptions of how we view the world. "We see things not as they are, but how WE are." Zimmerman didn't see Trayvon for what he was on that evening; a kid getting a snack from the store. He saw him as a scary black man.

I want to end on an exercise that I recently referenced in my last blog that I was challenged to do at a conference back in April:

Dr. Eddie Moore Jr. began the session with having us all close our eyes and then told us there is a door. The door opens. Dr. Moore then told us to picture a nigger walking through the door.

What did you see?

Black. Man. Saggy pants. Gangsta. Weapon. Fear. Danger. Chains. These were some of the things our collective group of 80 or so [Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Native) people came up with.

Perhaps my favorite part of the session came at this point. Dr. Moore said "How many of you in here consider yourself a George Zimmerman?" People looked at their descriptors and maybe down with shame as George Zimmerman might be in all of us. "He made a quick point of judgement and stereotyped this young man. We were all so quick to tweet about Trayvon and order and wear, 'I am Trayvon Martin" sweatshirts,' without looking to see what part of us were also George Zimmerman's."

Thoughts on Privilege: Why race STILL matters in the 21st Century.

Thanks to my wonderful employers, I had the pleasure of attending the 14th Annual White Privilege Conference that was held in Seattle this year. After three days of intense discussion about the disparities between race, sex and class, I am still digesting some of this information, but I want to share with you some of the take-aways from my workshops & speakers. But for those wondering, I should probably first define what White Privilege is and why we were there.

White Privilege: "...[T]he various ways society confers unearned social, economic and political advantages on those who are perceived to be part of the white group. This can range from social courtesies, to housing, employment, educational, and judicial decisions."

If you are white, please continue to read. This isn't a place to make you feel guilt for being born of a certain color but instead to realize that white privilege does exist and the goal of the workshop was to engage in this discussion but also offer solutions to help create a world of equity. I imagine it may be hard to digest, thinking of yourself as privileged based on one's skin tone, but it's more difficult for us that are on the receiving end of not having this innate privilege. Have you ever been followed around a store because someone suspects you'll steal? I have. When you're in said store, can you find the products that you need (hair care, food, make-up shades)? I have this struggle. Have you ever been called arguably the worst word in the human language because of the color of your skin? I have. Have you ever met a stunned person that has only conversed with you via telephone and when they meet you in the flesh their look conveys the shock of "she's b l a c k?!" I have. Because according to some, I'm an Oreo (Black on the outside, White on the inside). Or I'm "white-washed." I'm not sure which qualities make me white, but I'm interested to know. It certainly isn't my skin color.

I attended about 10 sessions, key notes included, but I just want to highlight the sessions I found most applicable in the education field as I am an educator. There were also things that related to my personal life and some things that have occurred and still are occurring.

1. Listening is Power.
The first workshop I attended was by Dr. John Igwebuike and this was a wonderful place to start the conference. For those that know me, I have a tendency to talk. I get paid for talking. He highlighted the importance and responsibility that we have to listen to one another. No, not planning what you are going to say next and gathering your language to encode that message while the other person is talking, but being fully present and listening.

We live in a society that rewards those of us who speak up and we frequently dismiss each other's ideas by way of interruption or insulating our listening (not listening to those things that we find uncomfortable or are not interested in). One of my fellow conference goers made the revelation that we aren't formally taught to use our ears. We are taught how to speak and how to use our language, but not to actively engage and listen. After all, what is our First Amendment right? Oh yeah.

It's only when we are protecting ourselves that we then mention silence: "You have the right to remain silent..." so that big mouth of yours you've been training won't get you into trouble.

Take away: "Let us acknowledge before we assert."-Dr. John Igwebuike

2. Racial Justice & Classism.
Every time we make a comment according to the following, we are judging someone by their class status:
White Trash. Trailer Trash. Ghetto. Rednecks. Elitist. Welfare mom.
We usually blame the victim for their class status and make overarching assumptions about the character of these people based on their class status: "They're poor because they're lazy."

I've heard this comment in the very recent past and it disgusts me.

Ask yourself, have you had a personal conversation with any of these people to check your perception? We need to give people the opportunity to open their mouths before we write an entire lifestyle for them and check them off as measuring up to our small-minded stereotype. Are people lazy? Sure. But let us not assume that all of any group abides to one lifestyle.

If this is how you are trained to think about all poor people, you my friend have been led astray and you are a part of the problem by victimizing them.

We can all agree that we came into this world involuntarily, right? None of us chose to be born-our parents made a choice. Are we all born in the same house? In the same neighborhoods? To the same family? No.

There is a very real difference between people having wealth in this country and people having income. Wealth is when your family possesses stocks, assets and these have had the opportunity to build overtime, leading to the ability of a family to pass money down to subsequent generations. Think to yourself: Who has had the opportunity to build wealth in this country?

Not Native Americans.
Not African-Americans.
Not Latinos.

One groups possessions were taken from them while others started out in this country as a part of a White mans' wealth; as their very property. And we are probably fully aware of the inequities that Latinos face currently.

When we discuss income we are looking at periodic payments to pay for our day-to-day living costs like your groceries, electricity, water, etc. You can certainly be rich in your lifetime, but accumulating wealth takes time. One of the examples Betsy Leondar-Wright uses for looking at the disparity is the GI Bill after WWII. Was it the White soldiers or the Black soldiers that took home money after they both fought for this same country? And who did that allow to save money for their kids' education?

On the note of education, Leondar-Wright also brought to light this shocking fact: There are more legacy students admitted to higher education institutions than there are...

a) Affirmative Action scholarships
b) Athletic Scholarships
c) Geographic Admissions

combined!!...Who has the privilege? Please, do not tell me that Affirmative Action is negative until you have looked at all those people who are simply let in because of who their great grandfather was.

Take away: Class does not equal race although sometimes, there are these very obvious connections between the conditions that some have experienced because of the way this social construct of race has perpetuated in our society.

3. N!gga/DJANGO.
This was probably the most challenging workshop I attended. Although Django was only mentioned in the title and very briefly in this room, the session still offered some very insightful techniques for us to realize our stereotypes as well as dealing with the N-word.

Dr. Eddie Moore Jr. began the session with having us all close our eyes and then told us there is a door. The door opens. Dr. Moore then told us to picture a nigger walking through the door.

What did you see?

Black. Man. Saggy pants. Gangsta. Slave. Weapon. Fear. Danger. Chains. These were some of the things our collective group of 80 or so people came up with.

Perhaps my favorite part of the session came at this point. Dr. Moore said "How many of you in here consider yourself a George Zimmerman?" People looked at their descriptors and maybe down with shame as George Zimmerman might be in all of us. He made a quick point of judgement and stereotyped this young man. We were all so quick to tweet about Trayvon and order and wear, "I am Trayvon Martin" sweatshirts," without looking to see what part of us were also George Zimmerman's.

[Deep breathe]

He later had us engage in a repeat after me exercise. "I am a nigger. You are a nigger. We are niggers." I had great difficulty with this as I can imagine some of you might no matter what color you are, so I responded to the room:

"This exercise was really hard for me, particularly saying 'I am a nigger.' Like some of the other people in this room, I've been called this and that is not who I am. Every time we repeated it and is repeated, the word stings more. Most words lose power when you repeat it, but this one doesn't take that same pattern."

Take-away: The ending of something doesn't make it all better. Ending slavery, ending Jim Crow Laws, shutting down internment camps, giving Natives land in the form of reservations, does not make it all better. It's a start, but everything doesn't get neatly swept away as if it were dust. Think of it more as flood damage that has caused pipes to burst, streets of garbage to be waded through and mold to grow in the very foundations of us.

Dr. Moore offered this metaphor: "If a parent cusses in front of their child from the time they're born for the next 20 years and on their 20th birthday decides they aren't going to cuss anymore, is this going to change what the child has heard?" This may be a positive decision, but does it erase the conditioning in that child's brain? Is that child going to magically forget how to cuss and not have that as a part of their vernacular? I can make the same metaphor to the abuse of drugs, smoking, drinking, but I think that example really vivifies a complex issue.

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The uneducated think that our work for racial equity is done simply because we have a black (talk about the one drop rule-he is equal parts black and white) President in the White House. You are sadly mistaken. Here are some examples of blatant racism that no one can argue with, that were blasted across comment sections and message boards on our lovely internet, but there are also things said daily by people in power (Senate, House) to their boss, our commander in chief.

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"@Walken4GOP: "Why did Obama's great grandaddy cross the road? Because my great grandaddy tugged his neckchain in that direction."

@pukingvagina: "So the nigger is still living life in that big white apartment."

@KG39baseball: "The movie 2012 first New York floods and there is a nigger in office also. See a coinensadince."

Yes. A coinensadince.

@madhouse12345: "No NIGGER should lead this country. #Romney"

@madhouse12345: "Only thing black people are good at is basketball #run #shot #steal"

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I'll continue this discussion in another blog later, but this should have us all thinking. And not just thinking about it today because you read this, but look how our lives are determined by privilege of race, sex and class; arguably the most visible things to another person. We should also be thinking of our place of privilege and if we have a job we can do. When someone is being bullied, do you stand there and turn away? When someone is being mistreated, do you turn a blind eye even though your contact prescription argues that you have 20/20 vision?

Ask yourself: "My silence allows . . ." 

At the end of the day, we are all human beings, folks. Let's not forget that. We can no longer wonder why our gun crimes are so high when we have all of the information as to why. We need to treat each other with respect, like they matter, like they have blood in their body and flesh just like you, and skin just like you...it just may be a different color.

We can do better.

Note: This conference had 2,000 attendees from all over the US and I believe 21 countries. We were made up of all different skin colors with a large portion being white.