I don’t pick a team to favor based on their color, location or by recognition of a popular player’s name. I really just don’t care.
I also never watch commercials in my daily TV viewing and part of the beauty of having a DVR is that I no longer have to and can watch regular programming uninterrupted, as it should be seen.
So basically, come Super Bowl Sunday, I find myself in front of the TV watching 4 hours worth of…commercials. With football in between.
To recap, on Super Bowl Sunday I spend the day eating tacos and watching commercials.
Eating tacos, watching commercials and drinking a root beer float.
Okay, floats.
How pathetic. And this year, along with the musical acts, the commercials pretty much sucked. I mean, 'Fast & The Furious 4?' What the hell is going on?
So let’s start at the top.
Lea Michele, I used to like you. Before ‘Glee’ existed, I loved you for ‘Spring Awakening.’ You’re amazing and I listen to that soundtrack frequently. But today, you didn’t sound good and Amber C. Riley or "Mercedes" should’ve gotten the gig instead of you. Sorry Rachel Berry.
Really Christina Aguilera? Besides the fact that I no longer find you relevant (I did not and will not see 'Burlesque' where one can assume you attempt to act but really just want to pull focus to your falsetto), you ruined our national anthem. No, seriously, you did. The rockets don’t come until after the perilous fight, which you omitted entirely. Also, every note mustn’t be drawn out. It gets annoying. Related: The Black Eyed Peas.
What the What happened there? Fergie, you cannot sing and should not attempt to. Had I known there was a contest for halftime show karaoke to ‘Sweet Child Of Mine,” I surely would have entered. I think my ears as well as all other viewers deserve an apology. Where is the love? Will.I.am, waitta call out Obama. I’m sure he was listening and will take your lyric to heart. Also, get rid of your superfluous 'peas' that collectively, have 2 lines over the course of 10 songs. Metaphorically, push them to the side of your plate and when mom isn’t watching, shove them into your napkin then dispose of them in a trash receptacle immediately.
And commercials? There were only a select few of you worth storing into long-term memory. From the shallow pool of talent that there was, one can assume that the economy has tied the strings to company’s pocketbooks and can’t freely drop a mil or 2 for 30 seconds of recognition like the good ole days.
1: The Osbourne & Bieber commercial was awesome. I don’t even recall what it was for (so in a way this is an advertising fail) but, it was hilarious.
“What’s a Bieber?”
“I don’t know, but it looks like a girl.”
2: I really liked the Chrysler Eminem commercial. In fact, I got chills. I’m still not really sure what it was about and why he ended up in a church with a gospel choir, but I like mystery. I liked the first cartoon Eminem commercial as well.
3: Montage of Super Bowl themed sitcom episodes. I heart nostalgia.
4: Pepsi First Date Commercial.
Girl's thoughts: I wonder if he could be the one? I wonder if he'll kiss me? I wonder if he likes me?
Guy's thoughts: Will she sleep with me? Will she sleep with me? Will she sleep with me?
I miss the days of the Clydesdale's. And when Kanye West's 'Power' wasn't the theme music of every new motion picture coming out in the next 6 months.
Oh, and "Glee's" Thriller/Heads Will Roll halftime show, put the Black Eyed Peas to shame.
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