When is it okay to 'be'?

Sometimes life feels like you’re in the midst of a back-to-back-to-back 400 m sprint. For a former sprinter, this is completely exhausting. I only can go for short distances before I need a breather, some fresh air. A drink of water to rehydrate.

How come life doesn’t afford you these times to take a break and to catch up with your oxygen intake? It seems as though each time you hit a milestone or accomplish something, there is some force out there asking you what our next step is, when you plan to achieve it by and how you will go about that plan.

The minute you walk in the door at freshman orientation for high school, you are already seeing brochures of how to plan for college: What grades you need to make, how much your parents should be saving, guides of how to succeed on your SAT’s. Quick sign up for the P-SAT...you only have 4 years to prepare! Forget after football game dances and assemblies, you should be studying for your SAT.

They quickly usher you out of this 4 year institution into the college you have been steadily preparing for these last 4 years. You check into your dorm, go to see your advisor to make your course plan. They then ask you the million dollar question: “What do you want to do with your life?”

Life? I just turned 18 and I thought this is life. Going to school, moving away, new experiences, love, loss, education, friendships. I have no idea what I am going to eat for dinner tomorrow night, let alone know what career I would choose to wake up and go to every single day until the gold watch of retirement glimmers.

So you choose something that sounds like what you’re interested in learning more about and you pray that in 4 years you won’t hate it and can make a career or at least get hired somewhere. You know, if the economy doesn't suck.

You have a few beers, you go to some football games, you casually date, and before you know it you’re sitting in a sea of Josten’s caps n gowns yet again listening to a speech about your future and tomorrow. What about the now? The right now in that moment?

You’re now in your mid twenties, working at a job that is satisfying for the moment thinking about this dreary future "thing" that everyone is constantly reminding you about. Save your money, invest, buy! Make a plan. For what? I could wake up dead tomorrow.

You drift toward your thirties, still single with the constant reminder that you are: “Are you seeing anyone?” No, should I be? I’m enjoying being single, strengthening friendships, learning more about who I am, and enjoying the freedom of the moment. But for some reason, the world tells you that you aren’t and that you must hurry to find someone. As if the world is running out of people. I'm quite sure the opposite is occurring.

You finally meet this person that you believe to be amazing. He makes you laugh, he is sincere when he tells you that you’re beautiful, and you feel that this is real companionship. This isn't like the others. Love.

“When are you going to get engaged?” I don’t know…I’m not sure what marriage is all about. Is there a test drive route I can take?

You get engaged.

“When is the wedding?”

You wed.

“When is the baby coming?”

Pretty soon the future is so crammed down your esophagus that you are unable to focus on the present, to enjoy the beautiful moments of extraordinary days that only seem ordinary because you are too busy to pay attention. Too busy writing in your planner, stressing about this unknown future.

There might not be a tomorrow for you or me. How many of them do you want to look back at and find unrecognizable because you were too busy to look around and enjoy this amazing world we have at our fingertips?

You can see the finish line. With every step you take though, it seems to be pulled further and further away from you, a cruel tease, and you have to keep running or you might never catch it.

Stop. Let them pass you if this really is in fact a race to them. Literally, stop and smell the roses or daisies or hydrangeas, whatever it is you enjoy the scent of. Lay your back flat on the surface of the Earth and make shapes out of the clouds until they fade into a magnificent dark sky only lit by the stars that dance in it and the moons light cast upon it. Then lay there longer.

Rehydrate.

Be.